[Till]

Hey guys so I was given a 1-2 page essay assignment on friday due by tuesday trying to get it done today

Drawing a complete blank so if someone could give me a nudge in the right direction as what to do it on lol

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Compose a 1-2 page short essay that defines a word, concept, belief, or practice, or one that compares/contrasts two similar words, concepts, beliefs, ir practices. Remember that you should develop a reason/purpose for telling the reader about this definition or comparison.

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So yeah Im trying to think of something great he said use your imagination he wants to see something new...

So I was thinking of doing imagination...but I cant figure out how to start it off... Like everyone says come back to reality and what not but like the wright brothers had such a imagination that they could fly and because they had faith and such a imagination they accomplished this...

Or maybe im way off and someone can guide me?
Dont like compare and contrast I find that hard to do for some reason...

[AtlanticBlue99]

1-2 pages is short. I can write a 2 page paper on this topic in 10-15 minutes flat.

How about trying to purpose of your paper should be educating the reader about a word with a common misconception (i.e. overweight - and discuss in your paper how people judge based on appearance, but there could be medical reasons or other not-so-simple reasons a person could be overweight, and the purpose should be to persuade the reader to not simply judge by appearances)?

[Till]

Dude sounds great I suck at writing tho you on AIM?

[AtlanticBlue99]

Originally Posted by Tiller88 Dude sounds great I suck at writing tho you on AIM?

No. I'm about to head out for the day... But you could just go off on a limb - make up a story about how someone close to you is overweight and you witness people in public judge on appearances and you feel bad for your companion - that would take up a few paragraphs...

[Till]

haha yeah I can try to swing something like that thanks!

[AtlanticBlue99]

p.s. define overweight with a medical definition. Then describe how someone appearing to be healthy could actually be overweight. Then describe how people who are visibly overweight are often discriminated against. Then discuss how non-visibly overweight people are not discriminated against based on this appearance factor. Then persuade the reader to look deeper into things and not just judge on appearances.

[Till]

Wow im lost now explain a little please?
Like how could someone be overweight and look healthy?

[MSO]

Originally Posted by Tiller88 Wow im lost now explain a little please? Like how could someone be overweight and look healthy?

+1

[Till]

Least im not the only one, I just found a great subject going to write it and post it see what people think of it...

Not shooting for a A this is only 5point paper its to judge us on our creativity and what not

[AtlanticBlue99]

Originally Posted by Tiller88 Wow im lost now explain a little please? Like how could someone be overweight and look healthy?

Medical definition of overweight:

You are defined medically as being overweight if your body mass index (BMI) is over 25

This person is medically overweight:

But would not be judged as so by the majority of the population...

[Till]

gotcha im working that in their the overwight problem to

Hope you guys will like it, if not screw all ya lol

[JASonic]

Tiller...AB cant do this for you!!! You asked for an idea, not the completed essay!
Come on brother, THINK! You got it.

< << waiting to see YOUR idea and the draft you make. BTW, quit being an under achiever. You are smart...."Not shooting for an A"?????... BULLSHIT! If your going to do it, do it right.

[Till]

Here is the rough draft, not spell checked, not grammar check dont have word taking it to school tomorrow to revise and edit alot.

I have it in paragraphs but it wont load that way

So if you dont wana read it completely understand lol I didnt want to =P

If someone does read it and offers oppions and advice reps for ya!



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Jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, skaters, goth's, emo's, whites, blacks, mexicans, indians, all types of labels. Why do we have so many labels? Why cant we all just be friends right? Yea that sounds corny but its the truth. So many people look at someone any more and judge them. Wow he has glasses and dress's weird he must be a nerd, wow he is pretty buff and his hair is slicked back he must be a jock. Everyone get's picked on. Even the jocks, or cheerleaders, everyone has been picked on atleast once in your life. So why do you do it to other people why would you possibly want to make them feel like that? It makes you feel low, dirty, drops your moral esteem, makes you want to do something bad right? My question is why does everyone label someone. Does it make you feel powerful, does it make you popular? Every look at little kids? Just watch them for a little while 2 and 3 year olds. They dont care what you look like, they dont care what color you are, if you look good or not. They just want to know if your nice and want to play or not.

Labels hurt more then you think. Alot of people look at someone overweight and automatically think wow he/she is fat stop eating. Wow this kills me when this happens to my one of my best friends who is over 250lbs. He has a eating disorder and cant help being overweight. He has tried many diets only to fail but the best thing is he continues to try he doesnt let failing get him down. He has faith that one day he will lose alot of weight he told me "I will never give up on losing weight". He is one of the best guy's I have ever met in my life you could call him at 2am in the morning and say hey man I ran out of gas and im 2 hours away. He would say ok man Im on my way you want anything to eat Im going to stop and grab something on the way.

Being overweight, does anyone auctually know the defitintion of overweight? The defition is "You are defined medically as being overweight if your body mass index (BMI) is over 25". Thats not what everyone thinks though, its all based on appearence if you look fat then they think hey he/she is fat ewww. What about the people who look just like you and me? They're just a little heavier but not considered "Fat" to people because theyre not overly fat. According to the definition they are fat though, but people say no your not fat then point to someone who is over 2 maybe 3 hundred pounds and say he/she is fat. How people do this, be so mean and disrespectful.

As far as labels go why does someone get labeled? Guys and girls get really bad labels, like sluts, nerds, whores, etc. Where did labels come from, who invented a label? Everyone gets labeled for one reason as far as high school goes and thats populartiy. The nerds get picked on and made fun of because they make good grades, or play games on the computer or xbox or something. Is that really a reason to make fun of them? They make good grades or play some games, so we make fun of them? Jocks, they just play sports and if your going by the label they are dumb and make lousy grades. I hardly find that true I know alot of smart people who play sports. Cheerleaders, they're the ones who are constantly in the drama and always trying to start stuff between Bf's and Gf's. Sluts and whores, those are probably one of the worst labels out there. People label someone a slut or whore because they have slept with a guy? Maybe because they have slept with 2 or 3 guys and everyone then calls them a slut or whore. Ok by this age Im sure you have had a few sexual partners so are you a slut or whore? Skaters, obiously they are skateboarders, but according to the label they tear shit up to and have no respect for anyone. Goth's they dress and act very "Dark" is that really a reason to make fun of them or call them names. If you put them in your clothes they would look just like another person. Thats the way they like to dress so what, whatever floats there boat but thats no reason to make fun of them or snicker behind there back. Emo's kind of like goths but different, according to the label they cut there self or try to commit suicide. According to the label if you listen to Emo music you hate your life and want to die. Where has all this HATRED because someone is different? Was Albert Ienstein not different?

Race, that has alot to do with everything. So Many people are STILL raised to be racist. O he is Black he must of stole that car or is a drug dealer. Look he is a Mexican he must smell and cant speak english. Where and why did all this come? Someone is a different color or cant speak our language and everyone hates them or looks down towards them. He isnt as good as we are he isnt one of us. We have come so far with technology since the Civil War you would think we could come that far as to accepting other people. Not looking at the tone of their skin and thinking dirty thoughts about them or that theyre not good enough. My best friend was a little black kid in 5th grade. My father tought me to always stand up for what I beleive in and never back down, no matter the odds. One day some guys in our class called him a ****** and that he wasnt accepted around here and just teased him and asked him bet you dont know who your daddy is. This made me fuirious but my father always told me fighting just leads to more violence, only finish it if they start it. My friend was in tears, I told him not to listen to him they were dumb. I felt so bad for him, how could words hurt someone so bad. So then they pushed him into a corner and hit him and thats when I stepped in and fought all 3 of them. I got suspended for fighting, as well as my friend, but the 3 who started it all only got detention. My father had my back and said I did the right thing, does anyone know the right thing now days?

We just had a Black man become president of the United States of America. People dont think he is going to do a good job because he is Black, or the N word. Everyone judges and most judges by color, why is this? Do you know how much this man has probably been threw? How many threats he recieved? How far he has come? He has over come the Racism and went to the top, but imagine what he has been threw to get there. Did you know his name 4 years ago? Maybe he will mess up and maybe he wont, but his skin color does not decide his fate like it used to. Yet we hold onto the past and alot of people still think that way.

Well we ever be free of labels? Will Racism every pass? Will we accept everyone for who they really are? No matter the skin color, the way they dress, the way they talk, walk, or act. So maybe you dont perfer to be associated with these type of people, but why must we label them make fun of them call them names. Even in some cases beat people because we dont like the way they act or talk. I have many friends of all race, and labels. The thing that matters to me is, can they be trusted, will they help you in a tight spot. Would they come help you in 2am in the morning whe you moon that police officer and your in jail?

[Till]

bump

[JASonic]

Im not a college professor, however, that was a good read. It makes sense and is compelling. I dont see anything wrong with it Tiller.

[AtlanticBlue99]

I got to the 4th "sentence" and gave up. It is extremely hard to follow. Your parallelism in the opening sentence is too long and irrelevant. You could cut half of the BS out of that paper, use better transitions, watch the noun/pronoun usage, and I'm sure it is worthy of a C.

[AtlanticBlue99]

Also, you should never use second person in a paper.

[Dansby]

I'm with AB on this one. Writing-a passion of mine, I do alot of reading of other papers. I got through the first 3 sentences and still didn't see the direction you were going. The first paragraph should GRAB the reader.

The sentences are not properly structured, and it somewhat sounded like a 5th grader just talking and it was being written onto a piece of paper. Work on the structure.

[AtlanticBlue99]

Also POV should be constant in a paragraph and you should transition into a new paragraph when you change the setting (time/place) of the work, topic in the work, or POV of the work.

[Dansby]

Here's a paper I wrote a while back. It was a one page paper and the topic was life in the eyes of a american revolutionary war soldier.



Freedom is not given, but rather taken in hopes that future generations will live by and cherish all libertys in our great nation.

A war has been waged with a country we once called home, yet in recent years, that home has become a vague memory, and a new home has been born, a home we can call our own.

I have fought for my freedom. I have watched fellow countrymen die at the end of a double-edged sword. I have shouted victory cries in rememberance of what was lost, but more importantly, all that was gained.

One hundred years from now, who will remember me? Will anyone see the pain I have endoured to bring the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, the freedoms that twenty years ago, no one would have dreamed possible; probobly not. But the war that we wage is not to glorify one man. There are no pedastals to be placed upon. No, we fight for the future.

As I think of home, I think of my family. My wife, without a husband; my son, without a father; my parents, without a child. But still I drive onward into battle, for without this battle, without this nation, I would have no family. I would have no home. I would have nothing. I dream and pray that my son will grow up to be twice the man I am, and that he would have the freedom to do so.

A question I am often asked by my fellow soldiers is that of a simple nature, yet has an answer as vast as the universe we live in. “What do you fear?” Fear; a word I wish had no control over my life, yet that very word is one I can not let go. I do not fear a battle. I do not fear a gun. No, I fear something I have no control over. What will tomorrow bring? As I look back at the history of man, I question everything we “know.” 1,500 years ago, we “knew” the sun revolved around Earth. 500 years ago, we “knew” the planet was flat. So again you ask me what do I fear? It is not that of which we know. No, I fear something much greater. I fear the unknown.

Freedom fears no man. A saying I live my life by. For when you fear freedom, you fear everything we are. And we you fear everything you are, you are nothing.



It just gives you an idea of sentence structure and really choosing a topic and sticking with it. It was written in first person, since that was the topic of the essay, haha.