[mylilboostedpony]

so my girlfriend and I were talking today and she said that either myself or her were changing since the time that we met and started to date but she said that she was willing to give me a second chance.
When I asked her what changed about me she couldnt pinpoint anything so I was on my own to find out. But then she added in that she didnt know if it was me or just her.
So I talked to her sister and she said that my gf has been under alot of stress lately with school and a few other things so she has not been in the best of moods. I thought about it for a while before talking to my gf again and I realised that I was causing some or most of the stress with my plans to go to the Army as Infantry since I talked about it alot. Also I havnt been myself for a while and I dont know why but when I met her I was a little odd and just my own person haha.
Also I dont have a very high self esteem, I never have. Which she HATES!
so she had to go to bed and she said she still loves me ect ect..
but i made a promise to her (because I do want to be with this girl for a very long time and im willing to do whatever it takes to keep her) that I would try to work on my self esteem and that I would choose a different career and that I would take stress away from her and not add to the problem.
Do you think im going in the right direction with this or have any way to help my situation out??
I love this girl and I want to keep her.

[moosenuk17]

everyone changes bro. its whether other people can handle the change....keep trying bro, and do what make you happy.

[Youngin]

damn.. unless your absolutely planning to marry this girl.. dont go out of your way man.. yeah she is important too but so is your future..

[mylilboostedpony]

Originally Posted by Youngin damn.. unless your absolutely planning to marry this girl.. dont go out of your way man.. yeah she is important too but so is your future..

lol actually I am kinda. "I would like to" let me put it that way lol

shes really worth it though.

[mylilboostedpony]

if she understood that people change it would be great

[97GT4.6]

Dont worry about it. Just PIITB.









Sorry, someone had to say it.

[mylilboostedpony]

Originally Posted by 97GT4.6 Dont worry about it. Just PIITB. Sorry, someone had to say it.

lol

[XTCNAGT]

My $0.02

Think long and hard about it man. I know you say you care a lot about her, and can see yourself with her for a very very long time. Understandable. Are you REALLY willing to alter the goals that you have set to accomodate her in your life? You're 19 man. You got a LOOOONG way to go still. I'm not at all saying that love at that age can't work, but you're getting to the point where you're going to decide and settle on a career...the beginning of your life is starting right now. I completely understand and agree to doing things to make life easier for you both, if that's in fact something BOTH of you want to pursue, but BOTH of you need to realize...it's your life too. To expect someone else to back out of decisions they make, or to deny them something they want for your own personal feel-good is selfish. If you find something you think you could still be happy about, and have a promising future in then by all means, go for it, but don't let her dictate how your life is going to play out. Compromises are great, but one person can't be doing all the sacrificing. It is after all, YOUR life.

Just take a step back. Look at all angles and make an educated decision. Think about YOUR life....what YOU want and where YOU want to be in 20 years. I'm not doubting the relationship you 2 have, and I'm not being pessimistic about your future, but you gotta think hypothetically. What if it doesn't work out with her? Now you've made all these sacrifices for nothing, and now your life isn't heading in the direction you desired. Be careful man. Like I said, at that age, you're starting to build the foundation for the rest of your life.

I chased the wrong girl for 5 years, and made a lot of sacrifices because I swore on my life that she was the one for me. After those 5 years I realized that that whole time was a waste, and now I'm a little worried about where my life is going. I had my blinders on, and didn't think about the "What if"'s. I devoted all my time, energy and a lot of money into what I thought was right. Turned down a lot of opportunities that would have me making well over $100K a year, in some of the most beautiful places on earth. And what do I have to show for it? Not a thing. Matter of fact, you know what? She's in Paris now.

You gotta look out for yourself man, cause there are very few people in this world that'll do it, and when you find the one that does, hang on to her. They're few and far between. If it's meant to be with this one, it'll be. Don't force it, just let things play out as they should. Good luck to ya man. If you need anything, I'm only a PM away

[mylilboostedpony]

Originally Posted by XTCNAGT My $0.02 Think long and hard about it man. I know you say you care a lot about her, and can see yourself with her for a very very long time. Understandable. Are you REALLY willing to alter the goals that you have set to accomodate her in your life? You're 19 man. You got a LOOOONG way to go still. I'm not at all saying that love at that age can't work, but you're getting to the point where you're going to decide and settle on a career...the beginning of your life is starting right now. I completely understand and agree to doing things to make life easier for you both, if that's in fact something BOTH of you want to pursue, but BOTH of you need to realize...it's your life too. To expect someone else to back out of decisions they make, or to deny them something they want for your own personal feel-good is selfish. If you find something you think you could still be happy about, and have a promising future in then by all means, go for it, but don't let her dictate how your life is going to play out. Compromises are great, but one person can't be doing all the sacrificing. It is after all, YOUR life. Just take a step back. Look at all angles and make an educated decision. Think about YOUR life....what YOU want and where YOU want to be in 20 years. I'm not doubting the relationship you 2 have, and I'm not being pessimistic about your future, but you gotta think hypothetically. What if it doesn't work out with her? Now you've made all these sacrifices for nothing, and now your life isn't heading in the direction you desired. Be careful man. Like I said, at that age, you're starting to build the foundation for the rest of your life. I chased the wrong girl for 5 years, and made a lot of sacrifices because I swore on my life that she was the one for me. After those 5 years I realized that that whole time was a waste, and now I'm a little worried about where my life is going. I had my blinders on, and didn't think about the "What if"'s. I devoted all my time, energy and a lot of money into what I thought was right. Turned down a lot of opportunities that would have me making well over $100K a year, in some of the most beautiful places on earth. And what do I have to show for it? Not a thing. Matter of fact, you know what? She's in Paris now. You gotta look out for yourself man, cause there are very few people in this world that'll do it, and when you find the one that does, hang on to her. They're few and far between. If it's meant to be with this one, it'll be. Don't force it, just let things play out as they should. Good luck to ya man. If you need anything, I'm only a PM away

thanks very much for that man. I have talked to a few girls and a few guys and ur is the best by far.
I have mixed feelings about the whole thing but right now I cant let her go. but thanks again. Ill keep you updated on what happens. I just want it to be like it was lol.
but thanks again!

[XTCNAGT]

I know what you mean man. People always look back to when things were great, and always want that back, but like moose said...people change. We're all different, and no matter what age we are, life is always affecting us, causing us to change...sometimes drastically, sometimes not. Also, after being with someone for a while, you start to see things that you didn't before when your relationship was young. A fun quirk in the beginning might turn into something irritates the absolute living shit out of you a year down the road.

I know what you mean about not being able to let her go. We've all been there. It's an extremely difficult thing to do. If you both are willing to work to make things better, then don't "let it go". Slow it down a bit, and determine what needs to be done. If you both come to the conclusion that there are just some differences or aspects that can't be changed or overlooked, wish each other the best of luck in future endeavors and go from there. Love isn't easy man. Not in the slightest. It's one of the most emotionally exhausting things we do, but when it works out, it's the greatest feeling in the world. Like they say "you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince". Well, princess in your case, but you know what I mean.

[mylilboostedpony]

Originally Posted by XTCNAGT I know what you mean man. People always look back to when things were great, and always want that back, but like moose said...people change. We're all different, and no matter what age we are, life is always affecting us, causing us to change...sometimes drastically, sometimes not. Also, after being with someone for a while, you start to see things that you didn't before when your relationship was young. A fun quirk in the beginning might turn into something irritates the absolute living shit out of you a year down the road. I know what you mean about not being able to let her go. We've all been there. It's an extremely difficult thing to do. If you both are willing to work to make things better, then don't "let it go". Slow it down a bit, and determine what needs to be done. If you both come to the conclusion that there are just some differences or aspects that can't be changed or overlooked, wish each other the best of luck in future endeavors and go from there. Love isn't easy man. Not in the slightest. It's one of the most emotionally exhausting things we do, but when it works out, it's the greatest feeling in the world. Like they say "you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince". Well, princess in your case, but you know what I mean.

yea. i have no problem with changing.. ive been changing all my life. sometimes doing complete 180's haha. And i just wait she would see that people change lol so very true about the quirks!!

i hope she is the one. I was single till i was 18 cause i didnt wanna deal with the love drama. Shes new at the dating thing and so am I. then i found her and it hit me in the face. haha. I hope that she will soon see that some things u cant change but some things I am very willing to change. I would love to have her for the rest of my life, but i know what you mean.
thanks again for the help!

[XTCNAGT]

My pleasure man. Happy I could help.

[chickenbot]

youre prob not gonna like my advice but youre gonna have to dump her b4 you go to boot b/c its gonna stess you out even more while youre there b/c theyre gonna drill in youre head that shes cheating on you and everything.. ive known a lot of guys that their gfs cheated on them while they were in boot.. its just my advice and will make boot a lil easier.. if you werent gonna go then id say just work it out and stick it out.. everything can be worked out.. just give her some time and let some of her stress in her life pass.. time will be your best friend

[sgrcltpunk]

hey man just be yourself and dont change for anyone if she cant handle you being you then she has the problem but always say i am who i am ...lets work trough this
dont change you career for a girl do what YOU want

[AtlanticBlue99]

Prioritize what is important to you. I don't know how best to go about giving you advice as every individual situation is different, but I will let you in on my view for me:

My priorities:
1) My family, my future with my partner, and my college education
2) My post-graduate education
3) My future career
4) My finances
5) My hobbies and friends

I really like how Suze Orman puts it: "People first, then money, then things."

I plan on marrying my girl, and we have a great relationship. We are attending separate colleges and have different careers in mind, but we will do everything in our futures with each other's best interests at heart.



Perhaps your girl cares for you deeply and doesn't want to risk losing you as a military job is more risky than a civilian job?

Self esteem comes with understanding who you are, where you are going, and how comfortable you feel with that. Once you understand what it is that defines you or how you define yourself, the confidence will come along. I have been more confident and have had higher self esteem since knowing my partner. She allows me to have more definition to who I am and where I want to go in life.

Good luck.

[MustanG_guy17]

Call her right now and tell her you heard she was under alot of stress.. and ask to PIITB.

[95StangMX]

how long have you been with this girl? I just read that you are 19. You are very young and something you need to think about is your future. I know you would like to think that she is going to be a part of it, but at 19 you still have a lot of road to travel. I didnt get married untill I was almost 30 and I am glad. I had to discover life and discover who I was first. I had to know what it took to make me happy and get that before I could take on another person and make them happy. You have to take care of number 1 first and that should always be you, because there is no way for you to make someone else happy until you yourself are happy with everything.

[Seabee]

do army. If you really want to do it, what says you have to give it up? If shes the one, she will stick it out, if not, find the one thats willing to wait for you and work through the challenges. Thats one way. But if you postpone goin in, which you can cuz its not like you wont be able to again. If you try it with her, and still nothing changes after a month, 2, 6 months whatever, then go back and say youre ready to leave.

Im sure someone said the same thing, but i didnt read every response.

[mylilboostedpony]

thanks for all your help everyone! i really do appriciate it.
we have been together for like 2 years now, she lives in the Dominican Republic and yes I have visited her many times and no she doesnt and wot cheat. her parents would literally kick her ass
she is talking with her friends if its just her stress thats making her this was and all of you and my other friends have said basically the same thing.
im willing to put forth as much as I can towards this girl and if it pays off it pays off. and if not then she has to high of standards lol.
i really hope its just a phase she's going through and that it will soon pass
but thanks for all of your help!!!

[TheUNZippee!]

You are far too young to be considering marriage.

I promise you when you are older you will have a different view on things.

At 19, you think this is 'the one', and that you couldn't possibly love another girl.

I promise you that you can.

But first you need to focus on your own self esteem and confidence, and making sure that you're happy with yourself first. True happiness does not come from other people or outside factors, it comes from within. Other people and outside factors just help support existing happiness.

Now, you will probably get pissed off when you read this, but after you're done being pissed off, I want you to think about it:


I won't say 99% of the time, but let's say....most of the time, when my friends have said to me that their girl or wife said "You're changing" or "I want a break" or "It's not you it's me"......they are almost always thinking about another guy.

All I'm saying is, don't let your heart blind your head. Every single fuckin guy on the planet says "My girl would never cheat."

Heh. Good luck with that thinking. Always keep your eyes open, and don't settle for games just because you're in love. Being in love doesn't mean you're entitled to eat a shit sandwich.