Get This Conspiracy Stopped!
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Old July 13th, 2009, 09:01 PM   #1
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Get This Conspiracy Stopped!


For those who care your humble prankster, purveyor of filth and other anti social thoughts is recovering well. I have always said only the good die young, and I well past that! My thanks to all who cared, I have a list of you screen name and as I let a fart that is not a shart I bless you; what could be better? I got this today and immideatly thought of the Zippester! Zip I care let me know how you do that teat or whatever.... W>P>

We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection........Well, REALLY NOW-even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, and hips?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were.

PPS
I am going tomorrow for a “Maturity Disease” test and have been up all day studying for it. I forgot what books I need to study. Any ideas?
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Old July 13th, 2009, 09:10 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by TheUNZippee! View Post
I prefer a girl with a cafina


That's Spanish for vaheena


Which is Italian for clam

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Old July 13th, 2009, 11:57 PM   #3
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