[Imran]

This is the final product. Not as funny as i hoped, and i took away the ballsack joke, but it gets the message across.

NOTE: this is a verbal speech, so ignore any spelling, grammmar, or any type of error that would have points deducted if it were a legit paper or essay

The power point is integrated to when it will be shown during the speech parts.

It’s 1971. You’re driving down the freeway in your new Ford Pinto. You notice that your motor stalls, and your car limps to a stop. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a deranged pimp rear ends your car with his Cadillac Coupe DeVille. Your car bursts into flames. Disoriented and panicking, you do not know what to do, and that’s when it’s too late- you are already on fire. A little harsh, don’t you think? But that’s exactly what happened to 27 other people who died, plus or minus a deranged pimp. 24 people were injured. A combined total of 51 injuries and deaths may not seem like a lot, but the problem was still there- the ford pinto was dangerous, and ford was not doing anything about it till it was too late. What caused the pinto to explode into flames upon impact? According to Gary Schwartz, author of “The myth of the Ford Pinto case”, the gas tank was placed right behind the rear bumper and between the rear axle. When the pinto was rear ended, the gas tank filler neck, which is a pipe where gas goes into the tank through, would disconnect and spill gas everywhere. If that were not enough, the gas tank would then be pushed forward from the impact and be punctured by four bolts on another part of the car. The metal to metal contact from the impact would create a spark, thus igniting the fire. In some cases, the body would warp so much from the impact that the doors would be jammed shut, therefore trapping the driver inside the fiery blaze. How do you fix your pinto to not explode upon impact? HowStuffWorks.com says that in 1978, Ford issued a recall of all 2 door pinto’s. Each car received a new redesigned fuel tank filler neck that was more resistant to being ripped off the tank. They also installed a plastic shield between the gas tank and the metal bolts that were prone to puncturing the tank. However, if you find these boring solutions to not be sufficient enough to give you some peace of mind, there are other, way cooler ways to fix up your pinto and make it safer. I know you’re confused. You’ve never associated such a horrible car like the Ford Pinto to ever be described as “cool”, however it can be done. The following are how cool people fix their pinto’s and keep themselves from becoming involuntary suicide bombers One such awesome example is Bob Glidden. Bob Glidden was a famous drag racer who raced fords, and eventually decided to take the ford pinto, and stuff a V8 motor into it. Now you have a big motor inside a lightweight car, so that solves the issue of you being rear ended- You can’t rear end what you can’t catch. According to Mr. Wellwood, of Gwellwood.com, “they (the Ford Pinto) would break down frequently, rust, and blow up.” When you swap a V8 engine into a pinto, the motor was most likely assembled with better built, more reliable parts, and was recently rebuilt to new condition. Also, when transplanting a V8, other critical parts of the car must also be replaced with better, stronger parts, thus improving all around reliability. Another popular solution is a fuel cell. According to Wikipedia, fuel cells are fuel tanks made to withstand collisions and prevent fuel from leaking and or exploding. These fuel cells are built tough, and are often installed when a V8 motor is swapped into a pinto, or when the car is used for sport, however, they are also convenient for pinto drivers who use their cars daily and not for sport, and are a great solution to the problems Ford made them with. If someone ever hits you from the rear, you can have the peace of mind that you won’t explode to a fiery death since your fuel cell is crash resistant. Now that you’ve all learned how to turn the Ford Pinto from a chastity belt to an awesome machine of coolness that won’t burn you to death, you can spread the message to anyone you know or see who drives a pinto. With your participation, we can improve the safety of mankind.

[TheUNZippee!]

change motor to engine, and you're golden

[graystang01]

I like it

[01stangV6]

never have i seen so much hate towards a pinto.....and i live in TN!!! lol but otherwise pretty good

[88TempoGLS]

I like it a lot!

[sikedsyko]

[Imran]

Originally Posted by TheUNZippee! change motor to engine, and you're golden

i used to hate it when people said motor instead of engine. Now, for some reason i find myself doing so.

[Imran]

spike, you bitch! you gave me a 1? really?

[leena bo beena]

it seems to me that lolwut pear has an open bite!