[thrasher!]

So i have a two year old. I know there are the terrible twos and all that fun stuff but i have a problem. My child crys/ whines nonstop. I have tried everything. Im a strict parent. I have tried spanking, talking to him about it, time outs, literally everything i can think of. I am with him basically 24/7. I work at the daycare that my mom and I run and he hardly ever spends a night away from me. I dont baby him or spoil him. My mom does though just to " make him stop crying". Tonight has been really really bad. He has cried since i went and got him after my final. With my BF coming home my nerves are already on edge and this isnt helping lol. I dont want to yell at him so i have simply tried just ignoring him. I have walked past him without looking at him crying in the floor made dinner and sit down to eat while he cried. There is nothing medically wrong with him i just think he sees the other kids at school acting out for attention and thinks its the only way. Is just simply ignoring him the best approach or should i put him in his bed when he is whining? My mom wasnt much help on this subject and she is some of the reason why he is the way he is. She also thinks it may have to do with Drew being gone and nash is simply confused. He did start acting out after he left and it sort of makes sense but i tell him he is coming home and there really is nothing that can be done for that. So idk i know a lot of you are parents and was just looking for any advice i can get.

[01stangV6]

I say you peel his muffin back blue lol I keed, I keed. Seems you are having a rough time thought I would say something to cheer Thrasher up

[thrasher!]

peel his muffin black and blue ???? wtf kinda drugs you on cause i need em lol

[01stangV6]

Haha that's my secret but it might be a phase. When I was a kid I always had my dad to keep me in place and still now because I'm still under his roof and he can still kick my ass for years to come. Usually the spanking when I was younger kept me in place but every kid is different so its hard to give advice on this considering you have tried everything from what I can understand.......

[thrasher!]

you know the whole ignoring him thing seemed to really work ... he finally came up to me and said mom i just want a bagel and to watch a movie so thats what i did and he is fine. I just waited for him to see that crying wasnt helping. Being a single parent is so hard. Expessially when your so involved. Most of my friends with kids have their parents raise them but i moved out pay my own bills and have my kid all the time. Im doing my best.

[01stangV6]

Yeah I have a few friends that have been raised single parents and its not easy. A father figure always helps though. Best of luck thought I would give my opinion. Cheer up though 101 comes home!

[thrasher!]

i know i really cant wait !!! i have missed him sooo much. thanks 01 you really helped !! your a good kid.

[thrasher!]

BTW reps for you !!!

[01stangV6]

Thanks and returned for being cool as hell.

[thrasher!]

thanks !

[Blown284]

Two years old ain't shit compared to 3 thrasher lol...But my daughter went through the same thing. We tried everything too. She gives my wife hell and listens to what I say, which really pisses my wife off. What I was told by a family friend who is a Psychologist, is that she already knows the limits and boundaries and what to expect as far as punishment from my wife since she's at home with her all day everyday. With me since I work she's not sure exactly what I will do if she doesn't listen so she does what I say the first time. I've also been told that the male voice has more of an effect on a child when it comes to discipline.

What has worked for us is complete consistency. ALL THE TIME. If she breaks a rule, or cry or whines, she gets the exact same punishment and she knows that it will suck so now typically it only takes one warning, maybe two if she's feeling brave. We do the 1,2,3, thing, on three depending on what it is we either take away a favorite toy for a week, or when she throws a fit she sits in her room by herself with the door closed and can't come out until she apologizes, repeats what she did wrong and is calm. She is already being taught that if she wants something special she has to earn it, and she never gets anything without doing something for it first. Delayed gratification is what its called, the psycologist guy says they have to learn it before they're 10 or they never will. Its just basically you teaching them that everything they want isn't just going to be handed to them. I am strict as well, and what I said above worked best for us. You just have to be consistent and repetitive. Hopefully this helps, I know how hard parenting can be, and some days my wife will literally be on the verge of freaking out lol...If I can help anymore just ask.

[WNTS 2RN]

I know ignoring mine worked. They used to whine and cry for everything. I'd fight back but it never stopped. Finally one day the wife and I made a pact that if they were crying something and it wouldn't cost them life or limb, we'd just ignor them. Worked like a charm.

[thrasher!]

Originally Posted by Blown284 Two years old ain't shit compared to 3 thrasher lol...But my daughter went through the same thing. We tried everything too. She gives my wife hell and listens to what I say, which really pisses my wife off. What I was told by a family friend who is a Psychologist, is that she already knows the limits and boundaries and what to expect as far as punishment from my wife since she's at home with her all day everyday. With me since I work she's not sure exactly what I will do if she doesn't listen so she does what I say the first time. I've also been told that the male voice has more of an effect on a child when it comes to discipline. What has worked for us is complete consistency. ALL THE TIME. If she breaks a rule, or cry or whines, she gets the exact same punishment and she knows that it will suck so now typically it only takes one warning, maybe two if she's feeling brave. We do the 1,2,3, thing, on three depending on what it is we either take away a favorite toy for a week, or when she throws a fit she sits in her room by herself with the door closed and can't come out until she apologizes, repeats what she did wrong and is calm. She is already being taught that if she wants something special she has to earn it, and she never gets anything without doing something for it first. Delayed gratification is what its called, the psycologist guy says they have to learn it before they're 10 or they never will. Its just basically you teaching them that everything they want isn't just going to be handed to them. I am strict as well, and what I said above worked best for us. You just have to be consistent and repetitive. Hopefully this helps, I know how hard parenting can be, and some days my wife will literally be on the verge of freaking out lol...If I can help anymore just ask.

o lord ive heard threes are worse but Drew will be home to help me. Your wife sounds like me. I am ALWAYS with my son. I am working on consistency i am just trying to find the punishment that works the best. I suppose its diff things for diff situations. Thank you that really helped a lot. Now i know my child isnt crazy or just super super sad he is simply a two year old and they do this i suppose. I dont get it but whatever lol

Originally Posted by WNTS 2RN I know ignoring mine worked. They used to whine and cry for everything. I'd fight back but it never stopped. Finally one day the wife and I made a pact that if they were crying something and it wouldn't cost them life or limb, we'd just ignor them. Worked like a charm.

I like the ignoring thing. I just take a deep breath and go about my buisness. Sure it gives me a headache and in my head im screaming BE QUIET but on the outside i look so calm and i think its self control and patience that really helps. It took him about 45 minutes this time to realize huh this isnt working and it kinda sucks to cry this hard. Then he just changed directions. Kids are schizophrenic i swear lol.

[WNTS 2RN]

They're just learning what they can and can't do. I find it really funny to see the stuff my kids will do to find out what it takes to get over on me. I have a 5 y/o girl and a 3 y/o boy. They're great kids nonetheless!!

[thrasher!]

Originally Posted by WNTS 2RN They're just learning what they can and can't do. I find it really funny to see the stuff my kids will do to find out what it takes to get over on me. I have a 5 y/o girl and a 3 y/o boy. They're great kids nonetheless!!

My son is def a great kid. He has his moments of snuggling and telling me he loves me then his moments of crying and throwing a fit lol. I havent really been around many kids until i was thrown into parenthood so im still learning the ropes i suppose everyone is like that with their first though. You never understand until you do it yourself. He is def a button pusher though lol !

[atlacatl213]

Behaviorist psychology approach will say that actions are reinforced or punished, making those actions more likely or less likely to occur. If your kid cries out and you give him attention, it will reinforce it. Hence why many people will choose to ignore the child when there is nothing really wrong and he's just whining for attention. Increase attention for him when he does other things that you like (i.e., when he's not crying just give him affection, or when he's cooperating with you on something). Regardless of him being physically punished, it may not always be delivered as punishment, if he still gets the attention. After all, negative attention is still attention. extinction of the behavior is best, by ignoring the child's behavior until a few minutes after he settles. Then you are teaching him that he won't be getting any attention for simply whining or crying for little things.

The hardest part is ignoring though. You'll want to tear your ears out as he cries and whines and you would rather just do something for him or with him to make it stop. Don't give in, no matter what. That is the hardest part of extinction.

[Blown284]

Originally Posted by thrashersonmomma09 o lord ive heard threes are worse but Drew will be home to help me. Your wife sounds like me. I am ALWAYS with my son. I am working on consistency i am just trying to find the punishment that works the best. I suppose its diff things for diff situations. Thank you that really helped a lot. Now i know my child isnt crazy or just super super sad he is simply a two year old and they do this i suppose. I dont get it but whatever lol I like the ignoring thing. I just take a deep breath and go about my buisness. Sure it gives me a headache and in my head im screaming BE QUIET but on the outside i look so calm and i think its self control and patience that really helps. It took him about 45 minutes this time to realize huh this isnt working and it kinda sucks to cry this hard. Then he just changed directions. Kids are schizophrenic i swear lol.

Try putting him in his room when he throws a fit. That seems to work well with my daughter, in her room, door closed, if there's no audience the fit tends to end within a couple minutes.

Also have an unfamiliar disciplinarian available that you can call or something when he's being really bad. I know sometimes my wife has to call me at work and put my daughter on the phone, after I talk to her she straightens up even though I'm not there. One of my best friends has a 4 year old that is CRAAAAZY and never listens. One time she called me and asked if i'd talk to her son (I'm known as Uncle Jake) so I did and ever since then all she has to say is "do I need to call uncle jake?" and he usually knock the bs off. Maybe its my voice or something but kids respond to me when I'm telling them to do something. lol

Originally Posted by WNTS 2RN They're just learning what they can and can't do. I find it really funny to see the stuff my kids will do to find out what it takes to get over on me. I have a 5 y/o girl and a 3 y/o boy. They're great kids nonetheless!!

Yea, kids are hilarious, especially when you watch them and they don't know you're watching...sometimes you just crack up.

[thrasher!]

Originally Posted by atlacatl213 Behaviorist psychology approach will say that actions are reinforced or punished, making those actions more likely or less likely to occur. If your kid cries out and you give him attention, it will reinforce it. Hence why many people will choose to ignore the child when there is nothing really wrong and he's just whining for attention. Increase attention for him when he does other things that you like (i.e., when he's not crying just give him affection, or when he's cooperating with you on something). Regardless of him being physically punished, it may not always be delivered as punishment, if he still gets the attention. After all, negative attention is still attention. extinction of the behavior is best, by ignoring the child's behavior until a few minutes after he settles. Then you are teaching him that he won't be getting any attention for simply whining or crying for little things. The hardest part is ignoring though. You'll want to tear your ears out as he cries and whines and you would rather just do something for him or with him to make it stop. Don't give in, no matter what. That is the hardest part of extinction.

thanks atla .. ya i def wanted to rip off my ears lol. I have always given him neg attention when he was whining as in trying to talk him down or saying stop it or you know just something like that. I think im going to give the ignoring him a good go and see how it works. The calmer he is the less stressed out i am and its a win win for everyone in this house lol.

[thrasher!]

Originally Posted by Blown284 Try putting him in his room when he throws a fit. That seems to work well with my daughter, in her room, door closed, if there's no audience the fit tends to end within a couple minutes. Also have an unfamiliar disciplinarian available that you can call or something when he's being really bad. I know sometimes my wife has to call me at work and put my daughter on the phone, after I talk to her she straightens up even though I'm not there. One of my best friends has a 4 year old that is CRAAAAZY and never listens. One time she called me and asked if i'd talk to her son (I'm known as Uncle Jake) so I did and ever since then all she has to say is "do I need to call uncle jake?" and he usually knock the bs off. Maybe its my voice or something but kids respond to me when I'm telling them to do something. lol Yea, kids are hilarious, especially when you watch them and they don't know you're watching...sometimes you just crack up.

ya sometimes i say " do you think your daddy would like the way your acting ?" he seems to take that to heart. Drew can say nash knock it off and its done and he doesnt attempt it again. I think he just knows that there comes a point where i cant take it any more cause i dont get a break and i will just either go off or give in. I gotta quit that lol its just so hard when its a constant thing but i guess its sort of like putting him in his own bed. He slept with me until he was 1 and one day i was like this is stupid and i scooped him up and said i love you and put him in his bed. he cried it out every night for like a week then it got less and less and eventually he was just laying down and going to sleep. I guess thats just how lessons are learned when you are young. but sheesh is it hard.

[Blown284]

Originally Posted by thrashersonmomma09 ya sometimes i say " do you think your daddy would like the way your acting ?" he seems to take that to heart. Drew can say nash knock it off and its done and he doesnt attempt it again. I think he just knows that there comes a point where i cant take it any more cause i dont get a break and i will just either go off or give in. I gotta quit that lol its just so hard when its a constant thing but i guess its sort of like putting him in his own bed. He slept with me until he was 1 and one day i was like this is stupid and i scooped him up and said i love you and put him in his bed. he cried it out every night for like a week then it got less and less and eventually he was just laying down and going to sleep. I guess thats just how lessons are learned when you are young. but sheesh is it hard.

Yep...Its never easy! But that is how they learn. Just reassure yourself that you'll survive the fit just like all the other one's you have. I don't think my wife has an easy job at all staying at home with our daughter, and come Jan 20th its just going to get harder with a baby and my daughter...