[CheyenneMustang]

First off, a little background. I got a divorce almost two years ago. The reason being was "i just don't love you anymore." Turns out she was fucking her coworker. After the divorce I got everything out my system, ie: partying, being a man whore, becoming an alcoholic, etc... That was about a year ago and I finally decided to get my shit in order since I almost lost my job due to my actions. I moved on, got an even better posting job, bought a nice car, found a steady girlfriend, so on and so forth. Pretty much never wanted to see my ex wife or go down that road again.
A few months back I started getting texts from a random number that I thought was a friend from out of state but never bothered to ask who it was. I found out weeks later it was none other than the ex. Funny thing is, it didn't bother me at all.
As some if you may recall a week or so ago I had a thread about karma. If you didn't see it, I mentioned that I saw her at a diner and for some reason that bothered me, but slightly. Also a few days ago my girlfriend asked if it still buyers me to think about her, which, yeah, it does. She then she asked if I think it bothers her at all. I told her I don't want to talk about it and that was the end of that. Well today, I stumbled across a picture of her on facebook and for the strangest reason it just pissed me the fuck off. Like bad pissed off, not the healthy kind.
Down to the bottom line, I know I'm over her, completely in love with my current girlfriend, why did that piss me off so much?

[khaos]

I think it's possible to be over someone but to still feel anger or resentment when reminded about events or that person's existence.
What's usually going through your mind when you get mad? Your internal dialogue could say a lot about it..

[AnotherS197GT]

Every now and then someone will mention my ex girlfriend and I just get pissed off. None of the people knew her like I did. That shes a liar, a thief, and just uses people and moves on to the next one. They all think shes just great. I always manage to keep my trap shut though, because then I just look like a biased ex, but its the truth. If your ex-wife did something as hurtful to you as cheating on you, I assume you will always harbor some aggression towards her. I would.

[Cathedral]

I split with my ex on July 29th, 2009. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and not a time goes by that I think about her that I don't get pissed off.

For me, it pisses me off because it was such a callous, weak, selfish move for her to pull. It was such a wrong and fucked-up thing to do that I can never forget it. The pain it caused me was so intense that I can never, ever shake it.

I haven't talked to my ex since we broke up.

A few weeks ago I found a blog she had onlne, and I read every fucking word of it. Turns out she's remarried and had a kid.

The way I felt when I read that was like I was on fire.

I asked myself the same thing: why do I still feel like this?

The answer is simple: she violated me in a way that I have never, ever experienced, when I was the most open and trusting to her.

It doesn't matter if you move on and fall in love with someone more than you did her. She still did that to you, and frankly, time doesn't heal wounds like that.

[roosgt!]

Originally Posted by AnotherS197GT Every now and then someone will mention my ex girlfriend and I just get pissed off. None of the people knew her like I did. That shes a liar, a thief, and just uses people and moves on to the next one. They all think shes just great. I always manage to keep my trap shut though, because then I just look like a biased ex, but its the truth. If your ex-wife did something as hurtful to you as cheating on you, I assume you will always harbor some aggression towards her. I would.

I have to agree with all of this my ex cheated on me and I have a hate for her like no other.
I would honestly kick her in the box if I could get away with it.

[RDY4WAR]

Being as I'm about a month into a separation in my marriage, I just don't even want to go there...

[CheyenneMustang]

Originally Posted by Cathedral I split with my ex on July 29th, 2009. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and not a time goes by that I think about her that I don't get pissed off. For me, it pisses me off because it was such a callous, weak, selfish move for her to pull. It was such a wrong and fucked-up thing to do that I can never forget it. The pain it caused me was so intense that I can never, ever shake it. I haven't talked to my ex since we broke up. A few weeks ago I found a blog she had onlne, and I read every fucking word of it. Turns out she's remarried and had a kid. The way I felt when I read that was like I was on fire. I asked myself the same thing: why do I still feel like this? The answer is simple: she violated me in a way that I have never, ever experienced, when I was the most open and trusting to her. It doesn't matter if you move on and fall in love with someone more than you did her. She still did that to you, and frankly, time doesn't heal wounds like that.

I think you're absolutely correct. Thanks man.

Originally Posted by khaos I think it's possible to be over someone but to still feel anger or resentment when reminded about events or that person's existence. What's usually going through your mind when you get mad? Your internal dialogue could say a lot about it..

I'm usually just thinking, "Why do I even care." I think cathedral hit the nail on the head with that one. Occasionally, (and in this case) I keep thinking, what on earth makes her think she deserves to be happy. That one is kinda self explanatory.

[HighDensity]

Congrats on moving on for the most part and realizing the drinking thing before you totalling self destructed.

Time, a lot of time needs to go by and eventually the thoughts will dwindle down to almost nothing.

[Nameless]

Remember this...the opposite of love is not hate, but simple indifference.

If you're still getting angry, then you still have feelings for her and you need to remind yourself of why you split in the first place. Since I practice a lot of Family Law, I have these conversations with clients quite often.

I tell my clients to write themselves a letter, but write it to themselves 6 months before the relationship goes to shit. I recommend you do the same thing. Write it to warn your old self of what your partner is about to do to you, the trouble that is about to come, and warn yourself of the hateful things she is going to say. Then follow it up with all of the reasons that she doesn't care about you and why she is indifferent to you so you should be indifferent to her.

[RedDevilGT]

It's the feeling of being rejected and unwanted that throws up all of our self defenses and causes us to react like that. It's like a girl who has been "hurt" in the past by an ex boyfriend, so she throws up defenses as to not let it happen again.