[graystang01]

A year ago tomorrow I lost my best friend to cystic fibrosis. He was the nicest guy you'd ever meet. One of those people that would go out of his way to help a complete stranger if need be. The worst part is that I never went to see him before he died. I was home for two weeks when he got put in the hospital for the final time. I told myself I'd go see him and I never did. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over the guilt.

Fuck this doesn't get any easier...

[Ninjawafers!]

Hate to hear it man. I know a guy that lost a fight with CF... cept he wasnt the kind of guy yer friend was... i actually hated that he died before i got the chance to tear him to shreads... i do feel for his ver very young daughter though... she will never meet her dad (in his case, maybe it was a good thing... the guy was literally crazy)

but aside from that, remember the good times. by the way you described him, im sure he has already forgiven you for not being there, even though forgiveness might not be needed. dont drag the guilt around with you. take the memories... honor his life in that way

[Mach1dmb!]

Sorry to hear that man. Kinda makes me wanna start seeing my grandma more as she is not in the best shape right now

[graystang01]

Originally Posted by Mach1dmb Sorry to hear that man. Kinda makes me wanna start seeing my grandma more as she is not in the best shape right now

Do it. You will regret it every day if you don't. Trust me on this. If I could do it all over again, I would have taken leave and spent it with him instead of doing recruiters assistance.

[Mach1dmb!]

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. You didn't know your friend was gonna leave. You never know when anyone is gonna leave really. Just gotta know that they don't blame you, and you can't blame yourself

[graystang01]

Originally Posted by Mach1dmb Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. You didn't know your friend was gonna leave. You never know when anyone is gonna leave really. Just gotta know that they don't blame you, and you can't blame yourself

I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself but it's hard not to be. He had a set of lungs lined up for a transplant but about an hour before the surgery they found out the lungs had emphysema. I didn't know what to think at that point.

[TheUNZippee!]

Regret is an emotion that should be used to make sure you do the right thing in the future, not to beat yourself up with. Did you do the wrong thing? Yup. Welcome to being human.

Now, I wish I could tell you that when you ask the inevitable. "What do you mean 'In the future,'...there will be more shitty situations to deal with?"

Yes there will. Do the right thing then. And now that you've fucked up here, you have the experience to know not to do it again.

I guarantee you if your friend could see you now, he would be like "Seriously dude? You didn't come visit me in the hospital, and now you're sitting there feeling bad? Dude, I'm dead. That is the worst thing in life, not your fuck up. I know that we were close, so get over yourself and visit me once in a while to pay your respects. It's all good man. If I can handle dying, you can handle whatever fuck ups you make."

[Silver35th]

My nephew is 4 years old and has CF. The funniest little kid you'd ever meet. He is just happy to be alive and doesn't want to be treated differently. He's been hospitalized so many times and he's only 4. He sure is a fighter though.

OP, sorry to hear about the loss. Like Zip said, it's not your fault, he had the disease that eventually brought him down. It wasn't you that killed him. Go pay your respects to him every so often and remember the friendship you had.

[graystang01]

Originally Posted by TheUNZippee! Regret is an emotion that should be used to make sure you do the right thing in the future, not to beat yourself up with. Did you do the wrong thing? Yup. Welcome to being human. Now, I wish I could tell you that when you ask the inevitable. "What do you mean 'In the future,'...there will be more shitty situations to deal with?" Yes there will. Do the right thing then. And now that you've fucked up here, you have the experience to know not to do it again. I guarantee you if your friend could see you now, he would be like "Seriously dude? You didn't come visit me in the hospital, and now you're sitting there feeling bad? Dude, I'm dead. That is the worst thing in life, not your fuck up. I know that we were close, so get over yourself and visit me once in a while to pay your respects. It's all good man. If I can handle dying, you can handle whatever fuck ups you make."

Honestly, if he saw me like this he would tell me to quit being a little bitch. He was always a smartass like that. It's probably why we got along so well. Thanks Rick.

Originally Posted by baleger92 My nephew is 4 years old and has CF. The funniest little kid you'd ever meet. He is just happy to be alive and doesn't want to be treated differently. He's been hospitalized so many times and he's only 4. He sure is a fighter though. OP, sorry to hear about the loss. Like Zip said, it's not your fault, he had the disease that eventually brought him down. It wasn't you that killed him. Go pay your respects to him every so often and remember the friendship you had.

I wish your nephew the best. He sounds like an awesome kid.

[Imran]

Sorry to hear about your friend, good Sir.

[graystang01]

Originally Posted by Jakashh Sorry to hear about your friend, good Sir.

Thanks man