[WAR-PARTY]

Next time you are forced to go on chick patrol at the local Wallie's World here are some intresting things you can do to amuse yourself!

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with
her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping.

He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban
both of
you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video
surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed
below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official Tone,
'Code 3' in housewares.. And watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him , he begins to cry
and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where to find the anti-depressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the fetal position and screams 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!'

And last, but not least ...

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey, There's no toilet paper in here!'

[acehogg69]

LMAO!!!

[BWAL]

bahahahahahahahaha

[MicronXD]

oh shit... i'm gonna hafta take a friend to video tape me doin half that.... would be funny 2 c ppl's reactions

[TurboLX]

that reminds me, someone sent me a list of a 100 things you can do at walmart, i'll post it up

[Drgnracin72]

good stuff, i really like the last one!!!!

[acehogg69]

Originally Posted by MicronXD oh shit... i'm gonna hafta take a friend to video tape me doin half that.... would be funny 2 c ppl's reactions

Hell yeah, get drunk then head up there on a payday!

[notsoslow50]

lmao..on a payday..just a payday no other day

[Onemanzu]

dude thats so funny i have done some of those... the mission immpossible one... and the condom one... its fun

[MSO]

the condom shit is jus fuckin hilarious LOL

[TurboLX]

here's the list!

ive dine a few like the indoor shopping carraige race


50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”.
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!...” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap, anyway?”
Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
Put M&M’s on layaway.
Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!”
TP as much of the store as possible.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Take bets on the battle described above.
Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
Two words: “Marco Polo.”
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
“Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.