[HMUSN]

please stop pm'ing me asking when they are.

they are random once or so a week.
if your not on line.... better luck next time.

RULES:

make me LOL you win a prize.
tell your best joke.

winners so far:

MSO
232stang


you don't know your prize until you get it.

and you must post pics of your prize in a different (clubhouse) thread or you will never win again.

ok.

commence jokes.

[TheUNZippee!]

Fuck off.

[TheUNZippee!]

Oh shit, sorry. I thought this was the insult thread.

Mah bad.

[G.T. Rags]

i really can't think of a damn thing

[HMUSN]

hahaha-no.

you win real prizes here zip.


mso won a gift card and 232 won an erector set from the 40's.

[Luis_GT]

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into The turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the birds back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon Hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this Horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

[AtlanticBlue99]

max tucker

[G.T. Rags]

ok.......this is real but it may work......

stores had to pull a halloween prop off the shelf because it was a dark skinned mann getting hung.......

[HMUSN]

nope. nothing yet..

[TheUNZippee!]

Originally Posted by HMUSN hahaha-no. you win real prizes here zip. mso won a gift card and 232 won an erector set from the 40's.

lol I won't be winning shit, as I have to leave for work in about 8 hours or so, and I couldn't possibly feel any less funny at the present time, as I'm about 3 weeks deep in to quitting smoking, so needless to say, not only am I short on time, I'm a smidge touchy right now, so I DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE YOU FUCKERS LAUGH! I'M NOT YOUR PERSONAL FUCKING FORUM MONKEY, I'M A MAN WITH FEELINGS AND A HEART!!!

resume hilarity.

[Luis_GT]

THE PENIS REQUESTS A RAISE...



The Request:



I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.



Sincerely, P. Niss
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Response:



Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


Sincerely, V. Gina

[Drick]

Ill think of something good but mabey we can make a deal :wink

[06RedfireGT]

click

http://chitownracing.com/hidden

[MSO]

Originally Posted by Luis_GT THE PENIS REQUESTS A RAISE... The Request: I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely, P. Niss ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The Response: Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Sincerely, V. Gina

hahahahahaha good one

[Luis_GT]

some added insurance


I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God, I still have my driver's license!

[HMUSN]

nothing yet.


but AB was close..
Tucker FTW.

zip I suggest you read some stories here...
http://www.tuckermax.com/

[TheUNZippee!]

God damn, you asshats, must you resort to copy C&P'ing jokes from the intranet to make HMUSN laugh? wtf, use your imagination. You assholes would probably fake an orgasm to win a free 5 minute session at your local jack shack.

[TheUNZippee!]

And HMUSN, do I look that new?

*puts no-click filter on high*

[HMUSN]

what can I say zip?


I tend to give good prizes

[MSO]

Originally Posted by TheUNZippee! God damn, you asshats, must you resort to copy C&P'ing jokes from the intranet to make HMUSN laugh? wtf, use your imagination. You assholes would probably fake an orgasm to win a free 5 minute session at your local jack shack.