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October 21st, 2007, 09:47 PM
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#1 | ||
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Zoolander
 04 Cobra #2260/3768 1/820
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Va Beach
Posts: 7,578
Blog Entries: 1
  iTrader: 5 reviews
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Little early, but I don't care.
If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Dear Santa, I wood like a cool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do? Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay, I'll set you up with a Barbie. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Miami , where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible or are you just a blond? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
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MM Cobra Club #18 Team Tini Racing
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October 21st, 2007, 09:49 PM
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#2 |
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Doc
1986 SVO
48.47@ 12.58
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 37,050
iTrader: 11 reviews
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible or are you just a blond? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa 
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October 21st, 2007, 09:54 PM
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#3 |
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Banned
2002 BMW 530i
don't know and don't care
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,180
iTrader: 0 reviews
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October 22nd, 2007, 08:26 AM
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#4 |
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Smokin' Hot Blonde
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Lakes Region
Posts: 681
iTrader: 0 reviews
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Gah!
It's not even halloween yet...
__________________
 You make sure your 'stang is covered in case of an accident, let us do the same for you. We'll make sure you're getting just the right benefits, at just the right price. PM me or visit us online! |
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October 22nd, 2007, 09:03 AM
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#6 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: アメリカ
Posts: 5,933
iTrader: 0 reviews
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i resent the low-rent apartment complex thing
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [SIZE="5"][FONT="Arial Black"]OBEY THE FACE![/FONT][/SIZE] Edited By Moderator. Next time will be a ban. |
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