[homebrewed]

So this is like the most I've ever spent around little kids. Its been like 5 months w/ Ame and her 2.
Keelie, the baby, just turned 1 yesterday.
Grafton, the boy, just turned 3 a few weeks backs.

I know kids don't know really how to phrase their thoughts and feelings properly, and its mostly just them wanting to let their opinion known. So I just ignore most of it.

Last night at dinner, Ame asked Grafton what he did @ daycare. He rattled off a few things. One of which was played w/ a vice. I chimed in and said "Thats cool. You used a vice! What for?" He looks at me and says "Don't talk to me Dan!"

If he was MY kid, and talked to my girl that way he'da had a sore ass. But he's not. So I let Ame handle it. I just sat there and ate my steak.

[HMUSN]

did you try and fight someone with the stake after words?

[homebrewed]

Hell no! I ain't wastin' good dead cow! Fuck that!!

[Darwin]

Originally Posted by homebrewed So this is like the most I've ever spent around little kids. Its been like 5 months w/ Ame and her 2. Keelie, the baby, just turned 1 yesterday. Grafton, the boy, just turned 3 a few weeks backs. I know kids don't know really how to phrase their thoughts and feelings properly, and its mostly just them wanting to let their opinion known. So I just ignore most of it. Last night at dinner, Ame asked Grafton what he did @ daycare. He rattled off a few things. One of which was played w/ a vice. I chimed in and said "Thats cool. You used a vice! What for?" He looks at me and says "Don't talk to me Dan!" If he was MY kid, and talked to my girl that way he'da had a sore ass. But he's not. So I let Ame handle it. I just sat there and ate my steak.

[Luis_GT]

[homebrewed]

Originally Posted by Luis_GT

Un-original. GTFO....

[JBIGBOOTSY]

Thats normal, you should have prolly shown some dissapointment of sorts. Small kids can't hate, so I wanna say there was a little pre-programing from somewhere.

[TheUNZippee!]

Originally Posted by homebrewed So this is like the most I've ever spent around little kids. Its been like 5 months w/ Ame and her 2. Keelie, the baby, just turned 1 yesterday. Grafton, the boy, just turned 3 a few weeks backs. I know kids don't know really how to phrase their thoughts and feelings properly, and its mostly just them wanting to let their opinion known. So I just ignore most of it. Last night at dinner, Ame asked Grafton what he did @ daycare. He rattled off a few things. One of which was played w/ a vice. I chimed in and said "Thats cool. You used a vice! What for?" He looks at me and says "Don't talk to me Dan!" If he was MY kid, and talked to my girl that way he'da had a sore ass. But he's not. So I let Ame handle it. I just sat there and ate my steak.

More like, at 3, they don't know how to phrase thoughts and feelings at all. lol

To me, that's not an asswhacking offense. That's when you tell them in a stern voice that they don't talk to you that way. Then maybe you ask him why you're not supposed to talk to him. If your 12 year old son piped off to you that way, that would be different. For a 3 year old, a slap on the butt offense is more for something like you have told him 3 times not to reach for something on the stove, and he does it again.

[Luis_GT]

Originally Posted by homebrewed Originally Posted by Luis_GT Un-original. GTFO....

ok

[homebrewed]

Originally Posted by Luis_GT Originally Posted by homebrewed Originally Posted by Luis_GT Un-original. GTFO.... ok

Better. Thank you :wink

[homebrewed]

Originally Posted by TheUNZippee! Originally Posted by homebrewed So this is like the most I've ever spent around little kids. Its been like 5 months w/ Ame and her 2. Keelie, the baby, just turned 1 yesterday. Grafton, the boy, just turned 3 a few weeks backs. I know kids don't know really how to phrase their thoughts and feelings properly, and its mostly just them wanting to let their opinion known. So I just ignore most of it. Last night at dinner, Ame asked Grafton what he did @ daycare. He rattled off a few things. One of which was played w/ a vice. I chimed in and said "Thats cool. You used a vice! What for?" He looks at me and says "Don't talk to me Dan!" If he was MY kid, and talked to my girl that way he'da had a sore ass. But he's not. So I let Ame handle it. I just sat there and ate my steak. More like, at 3, they don't know how to phrase thoughts and feelings at all. lol To me, that's not an asswhacking offense. That's when you tell them in a stern voice that they don't talk to you that way. Then maybe you ask him why you're not supposed to talk to him. If your 12 year old son piped off to you that way, that would be different. For a 3 year old, a slap on the butt offense is more for something like you have told him 3 times not to reach for something on the stove, and he does it again.

I did show disappointment. Ame saw it. It wasn't feigned.

We asked him why and all he kept saying was cause. "Cause I don't want him to." "I don't know why." Because."

Soooooooooooo FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Juggalo_X]

you've gotta beat your children. otherwise we are going to have a bunch of snot nosed emo punk ass bitches running the country in the next 20 years.

[homebrewed]

Originally Posted by Juggalo_X you've gotta beat your children. otherwise we are going to have a bunch of snot nosed emo punk ass bitches running the country in the next 20 years.

Thats the thing; He's her kid. Not mine. I had nothing to do with him or his sister. She had them before I came along.
The one she's carring now, heheheh... Yeah, that one's mine. That lil fucker is in for a world of shit.

[TheUNZippee!]

Originally Posted by homebrewed I did show disappointment. Ame saw it. It wasn't feigned. We asked him why and all he kept saying was cause. "Cause I don't want him to." "I don't know why." Because." Soooooooooooo FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen to me very carefully, HB. If you think this is that frustrating, you best walk away now. This is just the tip of the iceberg with her kids, or ANY kids for that matter. Wait until they are teenagers. He is acting this way because you're new in the house, and he has no idea what a proper father figure is.

You have a whole shitpile of dynamics to work through before you get deep in to this situation. First and foremost is a discussion between you and Ame on where you stand with her children regarding discipline. That must be crystal clear. If it's not, you could quickly find yourself in a situation where you're trying to discipline the child, and she's undermining what you're trying to do.

As for this little tiff, the kid is 3 years old. That's how they talk. You have to make sure the kid becomes comfortable around you, and knows you love him, before you can start meting out discipline. But as I said, in my opinion, this is not an action that requires a slap. Far from it. You would be disciplining the kid in essence for having unsure feelings about you and who you are, and I promise you were you to discipline him for that, you will slam shut any doors that may be waiting to open between you and he.

You want those doors to be open? Treat him and play with him as though he were your own child. Take notice of the things he builds, says, does, and draws. Be involved with him.

Only when you have forged a relationship with him can you start talking about physical discipline.


Long winded diatribe again, but hey, you asked for it!

Besides, there aren't a lot of short answers where it comes to raising children.

[smoke-em]

Idk what the question is but coming from a single mom of two kids with 2 different dads do NOT try to be his dad. It seems you know that though being its her kid and not yours. Its like Zip said be his friend first and in the end he will call you dad eventually once you two feel comfortable with each other.

[TheUNZippee!]

whoa wait a second....smoke-em...you're a mom? I thought you were male. lol

[smoke-em]

coming from as in came out of

[smoke-em]

but I am a slut if that counts for anything

[TheUNZippee!]

LMAO noted.

[homebrewed]

Originally Posted by TheUNZippee! Originally Posted by homebrewed I did show disappointment. Ame saw it. It wasn't feigned. We asked him why and all he kept saying was cause. "Cause I don't want him to." "I don't know why." Because." Soooooooooooo FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Listen to me very carefully, HB. If you think this is that frustrating, you best walk away now. This is just the tip of the iceberg with her kids, or ANY kids for that matter. Wait until they are teenagers. He is acting this way because you're new in the house, and he has no idea what a proper father figure is. You have a whole shitpile of dynamics to work through before you get deep in to this situation. First and foremost is a discussion between you and Ame on where you stand with her children regarding discipline. That must be crystal clear. If it's not, you could quickly find yourself in a situation where you're trying to discipline the child, and she's undermining what you're trying to do. As for this little tiff, the kid is 3 years old. That's how they talk. You have to make sure the kid becomes comfortable around you, and knows you love him, before you can start meting out discipline. But as I said, in my opinion, this is not an action that requires a slap. Far from it. You would be disciplining the kid in essence for having unsure feelings about you and who you are, and I promise you were you to discipline him for that, you will slam shut any doors that may be waiting to open between you and he. You want those doors to be open? Treat him and play with him as though he were your own child. Take notice of the things he builds, says, does, and draws. Be involved with him. Only when you have forged a relationship with him can you start talking about physical discipline. Long winded diatribe again, but hey, you asked for it! Besides, there aren't a lot of short answers where it comes to raising children.

Most of the time, he's pretty cool with me. Its on rare occasions that he pulls a stunt like this. He listens to me and Ame when we ask him to d something.
It was a fairly isolated incident. Its just when he does shit like this, I don't know what my place is. Again, he's not mine. He's hers.

She doesn't undermine my authority. I just don't want to be the one that doles out the corrective actions.

Like right now, we're chillin' watchin' Transformers and she's @ work. He's fine. Has been all morning. We play. We do things without her. He does just fine. Sometimes I pick 'em up from daycare and he's great. When we both go, he sometimes acts out. When she does by herself, he's a complete terror. So that leads me to think one of two things: He respects my authority or he's scared shitless of me.

I guess I'm just not sure what I should do when he does rattle something like that off.