Good Laugh

MustangMatt96GT · December 9th, 2007, 10:19 PM

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
Then realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks
and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

L AST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Tony_90fox · December 9th, 2007, 10:27 PM

Lmfao!!!

BWAL09 · December 9th, 2007, 10:29 PM

Vinyl66 · December 9th, 2007, 10:31 PM

06RedfireGT · December 9th, 2007, 10:52 PM

06RedfireGT · December 9th, 2007, 10:53 PM

YouTube - Black Cock Helicopter?

YouTube - Tom Brokenjaw - Tax cunts oops

06RedfireGT · December 9th, 2007, 11:23 PM

watch the vids damn it

BWAL09 · December 9th, 2007, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by 06RedfireGT

watch the vids damn it

both of those videos made me laugh lol

BTW, nice sig!

06RedfireGT · December 9th, 2007, 11:36 PM

Onemanzu · December 10th, 2007, 01:19 AM

i laughed a little

Tony_90fox · December 10th, 2007, 02:17 AM

nice vids...Bitch was craving some black cock eh? lmao

nba1341 · December 10th, 2007, 02:22 AM

i honestly dont get that at all what is all the testimonies suppose to lead up to? i see no conclusion

Hourofpain · December 10th, 2007, 08:21 AM

4th pwns all

Vinyl66 · December 10th, 2007, 08:29 AM

black cock

hahaha

December 9th, 2007, 10:19 PM	#1
MustangMatt96GT I Post Entirely Way Too Much 1996 Mustang GT 13.582@97.59 @ 5800 FT Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Lakewood, CO Posts: 7,141	Good Laugh FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls" THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. FOURTH TESTIMONY : While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! L AST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! __________________ We expect shit to break, look foward to realizing exactly when it is happening, and than obsess about dropping plenty of cash to rebuild stronger, so we can try to run it hard as hell and break again. We are sick individuals.

December 9th, 2007, 10:31 PM	#4
Vinyl66 Hardcore Enthusiast 1966 Vinyl Mustang Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Baltimore, MD Posts: 1,839	__________________ Pittsburgh Steelers/Penguins/Pirates FTMFW!! 1966 Ford Mustang w/ Black Vinyl top Mods listed in the Garage McCain/Palin 08

December 10th, 2007, 08:21 AM	#13
Hourofpain Hardcore Enthusiast 2003 Mustang V6 Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Virginia Beach Posts: 1,204	4th pwns all __________________

December 10th, 2007, 08:29 AM	#14
Vinyl66 Hardcore Enthusiast 1966 Vinyl Mustang Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Baltimore, MD Posts: 1,839	black cock hahaha __________________ Pittsburgh Steelers/Penguins/Pirates FTMFW!! 1966 Ford Mustang w/ Black Vinyl top Mods listed in the Garage McCain/Palin 08

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December 9th, 2007, 10:27 PM	#2
Tony_90fox MM Fanatic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Bowling Green, KY Posts: 3,445	Lmfao!!!

December 10th, 2007, 02:17 AM	#11
Tony_90fox MM Fanatic Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Bowling Green, KY Posts: 3,445	nice vids...Bitch was craving some black cock eh? lmao

December 10th, 2007, 02:22 AM	#12
nba1341 Banned 1965 Mustang Fastback Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Los Angeles, Cal Posts: 24,982 Posts: 2,193	i honestly dont get that at all what is all the testimonies suppose to lead up to? i see no conclusion

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