[ZOOTOXIN]

DEEP THOUGHTS

I remember how my great uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it, and no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver, and since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up real quick and hand it to him.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself, "mankind". Basically it's made up of two separate words, "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

When you go for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one of those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade.

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police, but then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer antlers.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at the Marineland says, "You can't throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them.

Most of the time in the Middle Ages it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that."

[BWAL]

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

lol, i've done hat to my parents before

[vfast]

if you were my son I could fix your hands being full

[JBIGBOOTSY]

Once at a park, I saw a boy looking up at the clouds, he said to me , "Why does it rain?" I replied, "Because god is crying." The boy said, "Why is god crying?" And I said, "probably because of something you did."

[TurboLX]

Haha^^

[mattstang]

Originally Posted by JBIGBOOTSY Once at a park, I saw a boy looking up at the clouds, he said to me , "Why does it rain?" I replied, "Because god is crying." The boy said, "Why is god crying?" And I said, "probably because of something you did."

thought i had the other day calling my ins. company.

why do i need to push 1 for english?