[boostedzx3]

This was by another member on the focus forum i'm a member at. However it's so great I had to share it.

Needed a cheap soldering iron last night for a guitar I was repairing. Mine died, Radio Shack was closed, and Target was sold out. (Less those "Cold Ice" ones, which aren't so great for guitar work...much like ex-girlfriend from long in the past, far too bulky, imprecise and only lukewarm when you're ready to get the job done) That being as it was, I decided to brave Walmart for the first time in years.

The first thing I see when I walk in is a sign for bottled soda. "Prices are Falling. Was $1.29, now $1.26." Sweet...think of the savings. If I bough 50 bottles I could save a whole dollar. Awesome!!! I digress. This is not about soda, or the amazing deals I have encountered in the past for such beverages.

On the way to the hardware aisle a lady ran into me with her cart. She said, "Watch where you're going." Indeed. I went to go around her and her rugrat did a belly flop onto the floor in the middle of the aisle, blocking all routes of passage less the way I came in. The child proceed to slide around on her stomache, at one point licking the tile as if to say, "Yes, I'm retarded and at Walmart. What's your excuse." Every time I tried to walk around, she spun around another way. As I was about to step over the kid, her mom turned back to me and said, "Don't you dare step on my child." Good thing she said it.

327 pink foam curlers, 2 mullets, 4 languages, and 13 house-slippers later I was in the hardware department looking for an aisle that might contain electronics. Wiring and Electronics aisle? Nope. That would have been too easy. Auto parts? Nah, good try though. As I walked by the Hardware checkstand an associate stopped me.

"Can I help you find anything?"
"I'm not sure. Can you?"
"What are you looking for?"
"A soldering iron."
"A what?"
"A soldering iron."
"What's that?"
"Apparently not."

Eventually I found myself in the Lighting and Toolboxes aisle. (I know, right?) Lo and behold, right where it was supposed to be, I found the $10 soldering iron right next to the halogen bulbs and European power converters. Sweet. Mission complete. Right?

I made a journey back to the checkout lanes (the side of the store opposite hardware). Fortunately this half of my trip was far less adventurous as the previous...until I arrived at the checkstand. (One of about 20 that was open with 5 plus people in each) There were only two people in line ahead of me, the first of which required a price check for every article of clothing she was purchasing to ensure that the prices were, in fact, falling as they should, because getting charged an extra $0.17 for that Pre-teen clothesline halter top was just unnacceptable. (Not so much as purchasing one for your 9 year old daughter, but I figure the irony may have been beyond her, so I chose not to bring it up) After a good 5 minutes of checking and double-checking, the next customer in line pulled out a pocket full of change to pay for the ~$4.50 jug of Folgers coffee. Bless her heart, the cashier offered to count it, even though the customer declined. (Perhaps the customer didn't want to get cheated out of a nickel.) When she was done making neat stacks of dimes, the cashier decided to double-check, something that would not have been necessary for someone who was paying attention to the counting as opposed to talking to the checker across the way about what club she met her new guy at.

Finally...my turn in line. Soldering iron. Orange tic-tacs. $0.94 mini-screwdriver set. $12.71. Debit. No...Debit. Not Credit. Debit. Yes. I'll swipe it again. Debit. Debit. Ok. Credit. ID? Sure. Yes that's me. Yes I got new glasses. Yes it's an old picture. No I do not want a complimentary 30 day no-risk AOL trial CD. You have a nice afternoon too...at 8:45pm.

On the way out I ran into one of the "Goodbye-ers." (The opposite of Greeter. Still a sweet, near senile, thin, wry old man, but with a hearty penchant for all matters security) He checked my receipt and told me to have a good evening. I asked him how he was still sane at the end of the day after being here for so long. He said, "It's better than being at home with my wife all day."

[TheUNZippee!]

lols

[GTsetGO]

that last line by the old man would have made the entire visit worth it

[06RedfireGT]

[Juggalo_X]

LMMFAO!!!!!!!! jesus what a trip. reminds me of my escapade to find a simonize car buffer at our local crappy tire. zip you know what im talkin bout

[Juggalo_X]

to add to this. its amazing how little basic training most box store employee's have.... "whats a soldering iron"

[TheUNZippee!]

Originally Posted by Juggalo_X LMMFAO!!!!!!!! jesus what a trip. reminds me of my escapade to find a simonize car buffer at our local crappy tire. zip you know what im talkin bout

[WAR-PARTY]

F-ing Wal-Mart the new mixing bowel for America, where even tards can get a job, and a discount! I just hate Wal-Mart

[Juggalo_X]

any box store is like that WP they employ a bunch of dead heads that pick there ass and chat about there loser life styles.

[Phoenixx]

LMAO thats awesome!

[TheUNZippee!]

Originally Posted by Phoenixx LMAO TheUNZippee! is awesome!

You are quite spectacular yourself, flower.


lmfao

[vfast]

Originally Posted by Juggalo_X any box store is like that WP they employ a bunch of dead heads that pick there ass and chat about there loser life styles.

sounds like here

[katsulas]

The sad thing, I've been to many Wal-Marts. Aside from that, you can actually plan on meeting each one of those people in any Wal-Mart you go into. However, the worst experience I ever had was in a Target in a nearby town, and they had this guy, yes GUY, with pink make-up, pink hair, and a pushup bra, working in the Sporting Goods section. Walks up to me, and in a voice high enough to shatter glass, "Can I help you find anything." I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "Yeah, a shotgun to remove you from the gene pool."

[Juggalo_X]

Originally Posted by vfast sounds like here

I dont know if it makes me happy that im not the only person who has to deal with these people or if i feel sorry for every one like my self that has to deal with these ass picking dipshits.

[G.T. Rags]

stop knoicking wally world........

where else can u get a romin, a tv, a pair of shoes, and a shotgun to rob the cashier on ur way out?

[Juggalo_X]

Originally Posted by 96GTRagTop stop knoicking wally world........ where else can u get a romin, a tv, a pair of shoes, and a shotgun to rob the cashier on ur way out?

touchee

[G.T. Rags]

seriously, walmart is an awesome idea gone horribly horibbly wrong

[Juggalo_X]

Ever seen the documentaries out that show there slave labor habits in china?

[MSO]

Originally Posted by Juggalo_X Ever seen the documentaries out that show there slave labor habits in china?

no

ever seen a pissed off wal mart customer's ass mooning you as you get removed from the store by security?

no.. i think not

[G.T. Rags]

Originally Posted by MSO no ever seen a pissed off wal mart customer's ass mooning you as you get removed from the store by security? no.. i think not

we all know that there no securty at wallmart except the 95 year old man who looks at ur reciept.

take away his walker and his chase is weaksauce