[oldernewbie]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
> He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey
> jumps all around the place.
>
> The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them.
> Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps
> onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls.
>
> To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and
> somehow swallows it whole.
>
> The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your
> monkey just did?"
>
> "No, what?"
>
> "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
>
> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
> "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the
> cue ball and stuff."
>
> The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the
> stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
>
> Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, a nd has his
> monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
> running around the bar again. While the man is finishing
> his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
> He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
> Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt,
> Pulls it out, and eats it.
>
> The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
>
> "No, what?" replied the man.
>
> "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt,
> pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
>
> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still
> eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to crap that cue ball,
> he measures everything first."

[tsp_2177]

[Phoenixx]

Lmao that's so wrong... yet hilarious none the less

[Youngin]

lol pretty good