Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.....

stangfreak · September 23rd, 2008, 11:14 PM

Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

TheUNZippee! · September 23rd, 2008, 11:27 PM

lol an oldie but a goodie. Makes me giggle every time I read it.

mustangjeff1997 · September 23rd, 2008, 11:29 PM

I lol'd. Hey zip!

stangfreak · September 23rd, 2008, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by TheUNZippee!

lol an oldie but a goodie. Makes me giggle every time I read it.

yeah, that was the first time for me. i read it like 3 times

TheUNZippee! · September 23rd, 2008, 11:48 PM

Originally Posted by stangfreak

yeah, that was the first time for me. i read it like 3 times

lol yeah it's a classic.

Hey Jeff!

Genevieve! · September 23rd, 2008, 11:56 PM

Ive only seen this one

From a cat... Day 751: My captors continue to distress me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining a piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.

TheUNZippee! · September 23rd, 2008, 11:56 PM

rolf^

futureMACH1racer · September 24th, 2008, 12:04 AM

this is great I love it

TheUNZippee! · September 24th, 2008, 12:05 AM

Originally Posted by futureMACH1racer

this is great I love zip

I'm not worthy!

stangfreak · September 24th, 2008, 08:31 AM

day 984 of my captivity...
i ate a huge fucking spider today, you'ld think my captor would have been more appreciative. now i feel sick.

00vabchgt · September 24th, 2008, 08:32 AM

^ lol...

September 23rd, 2008, 11:14 PM	#1
stangfreak Banned MEMBER #334 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Wyandotte County Posts: 1,635 iTrader: 0 reviews	Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..... Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................ __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [SIZE="4"]"This just in....14.79 @ 92.15 is not fast"[/SIZE]

September 23rd, 2008, 11:27 PM	#2
TheUNZippee! Moderator Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 61,816 Blog Entries: 1 iTrader: 0 reviews	lol an oldie but a goodie. Makes me giggle every time I read it. __________________

September 23rd, 2008, 11:56 PM	#6
Genevieve! eeeee! 2003 Mustang GT Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Coruscant Posts: 5,693 iTrader: 0 reviews	Ive only seen this one From a cat... Day 751: My captors continue to distress me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining a piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another. __________________

September 23rd, 2008, 11:56 PM	#7
TheUNZippee! Moderator Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 61,816 Blog Entries: 1 iTrader: 0 reviews	rolf^ __________________

September 24th, 2008, 12:04 AM	#8
futureMACH1racer Honeybadger is Crazy 2008 F-250 Super Duty Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: United States of America Posts: 10,901 iTrader: 0 reviews	this is great I love it __________________ RIP Travis Bilings 5/6/1982-7/5/2011 Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

September 24th, 2008, 08:31 AM	#10
stangfreak Banned MEMBER #334 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Wyandotte County Posts: 1,635 iTrader: 0 reviews	day 984 of my captivity... i ate a huge fucking spider today, you'ld think my captor would have been more appreciative. now i feel sick. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [SIZE="4"]"This just in....14.79 @ 92.15 is not fast"[/SIZE]

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