[oldernewbie]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or

changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.

Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered

from a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:


1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you

realize it was your money to start with.


2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign

of breaking down in the near future.


4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person

who doesn't get it.


7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.


9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)


10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a

serious bummer.


11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.


12. Glibido: All talk and no action


13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.


14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after

you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in

the fruit you're eating.


And, the pick of the lot...


17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.