[graystang01]

should i wear this tech 9 with the high tops? hmmm... hmmm

ooooor... this uzi with the low tops? hmmmm.... hmmmm

[Notcho]

"So tell me Eddie, is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

[dr.gonzo!]

You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful, but you want them to be interested in you because you're you. The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn. I know you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath but the only reason anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautful. Ironic, isn't it? In an odd way you're your own problem.

[jim.munoz]

Brodie:"One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all, but the next week he did it again! Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat, and I says to him 'Jesus Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just going to get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?' And he said to me, 'Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?' My cousin was a wierd guy.

[jim.munoz]

Jay:"Silent Bob's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit."

Little Girl:"Wow! It's a schooner!"
Willam:"You dumb bastard! That's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!"
Little Boy:"A schooner is a sailboat, stupidhead!"
Willam:"Well you know what? THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! OVER THERE, THAT'S JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!!"

Brodie:"The cookie stand's not part of the food court."
T.S.:"Of course it is."
Brodie:"The food court is downstairs. The cookie stand is upstairs. It's not like we're talking quantum physics here."
T.S.:"The cookie stand counts as an eatery, the eateries are part of the food court."
Brodie:"Bullshit! Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs qualify as food court. Anything outside of said designated square is considered an atonimous unit for mid-mall snacking."

Brodie:"I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues!"
T.S.:"What is with you today?"
Brodie""Now don't get me wrong. I don't wish the kid harm, but his mother should suffer that horrific ordeal so she'll learn how to manage her child!"
T.S.:"That's kind of a harsh lesson, don't you think?"
Brodie""Man, there's not a year goes by, not one year, that I don't here about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could have easily been avoided if some parent, I don't care which one, but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!"

[metallicat]

You won't take a guy's tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat THAT?

[Notcho]

Mr. Rate: That's how a conspiracy works. Them boys on the Grassy Knoll they were dead within three hours, buried in the damned desert, unmarked graves out past Terlingua.

Nick Memphis: You know this for a fact?

Mr. Rate: Still got the shovel...

[AMmuslGT]

harry, im droppin the hammer!

[Notcho]

"Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!"

[Lefty]

"Hey Derek, Spreken Ze Dick".

[Pingar]

Harry Hogge: Cole, you're wandering all over the track!
Cole Trickle: Yeah, well this son of a bitch just slammed into me.
Harry Hogge: No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he *rubbed* you. And rubbin, son, is racin'

Harry Hogge: All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.
Cole Trickle: Hit the pace car?
Harry Hogge: Hit the pace car.
Cole Trickle: What for?
Harry Hogge: Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect.

[v606er]

i love da pussy hell yeah hell yeah

[goren813]

When's the last time you read anything?

Neva motha fucka! Shorty can't eat no books.

[v606er]

i love the smell of napalm in the morning

[TheUNZippee!]

It's over Johnny. IT'S OVER!!

[Notcho]

Johnnycab: Hello, I'm Johnny Cab. Where can I take you tonight?

Douglas Quaid: Drive! Drive!

Johnnycab: Would you please repeat the destination?

Douglas Quaid: Anywhere, just GO! GO!

Johnnycab: Please state the street and number.

Douglas Quaid: Shit. SHIT!

Johnnycab: I'm not familiar with that address. Would you please repeat the destination?

(Douglas Quaid rips Johnnycab from the floor, and throws him in the back)

---
Douglas Quad: See you at the party Richter!

[Notcho]

Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!

[Notcho]

This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas!

[WILD Jeff]

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car.

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect.

[WilltheThrill]

"Price check on Vagiclean..isle 5..we got a customer down here with a fallopian fungus and shes baking a loaf of bread and i think its sourdough."