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Old June 10th, 2011, 12:42 AM   #241
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He knew I was just fucking around and he's still laughing about it.
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Old June 10th, 2011, 12:45 AM   #242
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That's what they all say.....right up until they show up at your door with a tube a of KY and lo and behold this woman has man parts and the relationship you have forged is in a serious quandary.....jus sayin'
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Old June 10th, 2011, 12:57 AM   #243
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wow so my ex is a freak now. but its funny that pickup line worked
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Old June 10th, 2011, 09:17 AM   #244
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Originally Posted by Smoothgrandmama View Post
That's what they all say.....right up until they show up at your door with a tube a of KY and lo and behold this woman has man parts and the relationship you have forged is in a serious quandary.....jus sayin'
Are you saying that from experience?
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Old June 10th, 2011, 09:20 AM   #245
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Originally Posted by r890 View Post
Are you saying that from experience?
8 Ball says "Doubtful"
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Old June 27th, 2011, 12:17 AM   #246
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Okay so bored and alone I decide to turn this into "text this to a guy, get LAID!!!" I mean "bored and alone", what better time right?

Some other girls need to try 'cause apparently I'm too obvious about not being into these guys and they are so surprised they don't play along or take it seriously. They question it.

I only got one half decent answer.


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Old June 27th, 2011, 11:36 AM   #247
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Originally Posted by zinc-vert02 View Post
i dont have the balls to txt this to any one lol
Yea me to other then to a few people i knew would know its a joke. Like my best friend and a few MMers. But im doing it to my girl right now. she just woke up.

Originally Posted by 08GTCS Stang View Post
To a good buddy of mine who is a trucker since no female who I ever text it to will play along.

Me: Hey, I've got a question
Him the day after: Oh shit, I fell asleep after you texted me. What was your question?
Me: Since we're both good looking, why haven't we banged yet?
Him: You can do better. I could always mind fuck you?
Me: Coming over now.
Him: I think being raped by you would be much better than listening to the fool I am driving with. He does not stop talking.
Me: Sounds pleasant. Got any lube?
Him: Haha, are you big?
Me: Absolutely baby.
Him: Give me some numbers. I charge per inch.
Me: 7,142,958.3333" to be precise. Can you handle my package?
Him: Awh, that's bigger than mine. =(
Me: I get the butt! Fuck yea!
Him: Lol, my girl says she won't take it in the ass so I guess you will have to.
Me: Only if you promise not to charge me for the rape.
Him: You can do me then I can do you.
Him: Or we can just buy a cheap hooker and double team her?
Me: How about we just double team a sexy male stripper instead?
Him: I'd rather have the hooker. Do you want the puss or the ass?
Me: Fine if you insist. I'll take the ear and eye socket.
Him: I'm just going to buy you a sheep.
Me: I'll only take the sheep if you promise I won't have to share.
Him: The sheep will be my gift to you.
Me: Fuck yea! I'm getting some sheep ass!
Him: What's up with you and ass? Wouldn't you rather have some sheep pussy?
Me: I was hoping for a male sheep...
Him: Do you want a male sheep? I guess you could stick your head in the fence and let it have its way with you too.
A little to far but hilarious.

Originally Posted by xocolleenox View Post
Okay so bored and alone I decide to turn this into "text this to a guy, get LAID!!!" I mean "bored and alone", what better time right?

Some other girls need to try 'cause apparently I'm too obvious about not being into these guys and they are so surprised they don't play along or take it seriously. They question it.

I only got one half decent answer.


You do realize he took you a little serious and prob wants to talk to you on the phone to make sure your serious right?
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Old June 27th, 2011, 01:22 PM   #248
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Thank you, Mr. Almond Killjoy.
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Old June 27th, 2011, 01:29 PM   #249
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. other option would be he is trying to get some.
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Old June 27th, 2011, 02:01 PM   #250
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That's okay. The least expected response I got was, "Uhm idk? I dont even know who this is lol"

Luckily it was the right person with a new phone.
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Old June 28th, 2011, 09:57 AM   #251
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Originally Posted by xocolleenox View Post
That's okay. The least expected response I got was, "Uhm idk? I dont even know who this is lol"

Luckily it was the right person with a new phone.
that would have been funny if you said "O just the person that stairs in your window at night " then told him who it was.
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Old June 28th, 2011, 03:10 PM   #252
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Originally Posted by chocolate View Post
that would have been funny if you said "O just the person that stairs in your window at night " then told him who it was.
Lucky for him I'm sooo not that clever lal.
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Old June 28th, 2011, 04:21 PM   #253
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Originally Posted by N29468 View Post
Her- I seriously hate guys!
Me- why now what happend?
Her- I love how everyone wants to have sex with me but I can't find one to date.
Me- this may be a bad time but I have a question.
Her- kk what's up?
Me- since we are both good looking why haven't we banged yet?



She hasn't txt back yet..
Perfect timing!



Originally Posted by stevenb913 View Post
Me: i have a question
Ex: ok
Me: Since we are both good looking, why havent we banged yet?
ex: idk? u tell me
me: im coming over now
ex: im not home lol
ex: why did you ask that?
me: its just a game to ask your exs
ex: so im not pretty
me: very pretty. but i wouldnt come on that strong
ex: why not? you almost had me.

fuck
Damn she hella wants it!!

Originally Posted by azure mach View Post
me: I have a question
her : what, and why are you texting me when your right next to me
me: Since we are both good looking, why haven't we banged yet?
her: we have and i know what your doing, im laying right next to you and can see the computer
me: Coming over now
her: once again, your already here.

didnt work the way i thought it would
Haha, You were right next to her? I bet you didnt make eye contact when she read that text

Originally Posted by Blown284 View Post
Shoulda just put your balls on her face.



j/k





But Srsly


Originally Posted by Smoothgrandmama View Post
You know..... there is a point when you take something too far....
Excatly what I was thinking.. Got a little creapy..

Originally Posted by stevenb913 View Post
wow so my ex is a freak now. but its funny that pickup line worked
This thread helped you.
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Old June 30th, 2011, 10:22 PM   #254
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Originally Posted by xocolleenox View Post
Okay so bored and alone I decide to turn this into "text this to a guy, get LAID!!!" I mean "bored and alone", what better time right?

Some other girls need to try 'cause apparently I'm too obvious about not being into these guys and they are so surprised they don't play along or take it seriously. They question it.

I only got one half decent answer.


L O FUCKING L. You guys should post this as your FB status and do it to whoever answers first. =D
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Old July 3rd, 2011, 04:49 PM   #255
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Doubtful
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Old July 3rd, 2011, 05:44 PM   #256
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This is hilarious, so much win up in this thread
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Old July 3rd, 2011, 11:17 PM   #257
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Me: I have a question.
Her: Yes?
Me: Since you and I are good looking, why haven't we banged, yet?
Her: Wow. Um...
Me: Does that um mean stand by, more to follow?
Her: I don't have sex for just fun anymore. Unfortunately. I can't afford to keep adding to the list when all I get out of it is non committal sex.
Me: Oh, ----, you should know me better to think I was serious. =P You know I'm not like that...although, admittedly, I was hoping for a more colorful response, haha! It's a joke I picked up from a Mustang forum to see what kind of responses you get.
Her: I could punch you right now. Lol
Me: LOL!! You didn't find it funny? =D
Her: I was so mad at you! One of the reasons I like hanging out with you is because you aren't trying to get me in bed. So when I saw that I was totally shocked! Should have seen my face! Lol
Me: HAHAHAHAHA!! Success!! =) Have a good day!
Her: I hate you ha ha ha
Me: You loved it...in the end, anyway. =D
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Old July 3rd, 2011, 11:23 PM   #258
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You're in the friend zone, hopefully she isnt hot cause you'll never bang her.





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Old July 3rd, 2011, 11:32 PM   #259
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She is. I'm fully aware of my status w/ her, unfortunately. But whatev, she's a badass chick to hang out with, so I'm okay with it.
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Old July 3rd, 2011, 11:37 PM   #260
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Originally Posted by Iconoclast107 View Post
She is. I'm fully aware of my status w/ her, unfortunately. But whatev, she's a badass chick to hang out with, so I'm okay with it.
That works.
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