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post #1 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:18 AM Thread Starter
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ha ha v2

Cause narley sucks dick with fake posts...


An older man and his 10 year kid companion are walking thru the woods in the dark when the the 10 year old says,,, im really scared. The man replies, your scared? I have to walk out of here alone.


A horse walks into a bar, bartender says, why the long face?





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post #2 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:28 AM
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Guy walks into a library while drunk and yells "I'll take 4 mcdoubles a large fri and a large dr.pepper!"

a librarian confronts the man and says "Sir this is a library!"

Drunk guy says (whispering)"Sorry... I'll take 4 mcdoubles a large fri and a large dr.pepper"

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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #3 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:35 AM
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all my jokes are incredibly offensive and i'd probably get an infraction for posting them

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post #4 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:38 AM
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Towlie walks into a thread and says I don't know anything wanna get high?

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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #5 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:39 AM
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fuck it. whats the difference between santa claus and a certain group of people with a history of persecution?

























santa goes down the chimney

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post #6 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:41 AM
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #7 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:44 AM
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i can't even count how many times i've refrained from posting funny shit because the punchline included one of those big bad scary offensive words that we're not supposed to say here

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post #8 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:46 AM
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yea and nobody is really offended by the "n bomb" anymore. the c word sure theres a few, but the n bomb no

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post #9 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:48 AM
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i'm a freeze peach advocate

it's all about context

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post #10 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:48 AM
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Wanna know how copper wire was made?


Two people of a certain demographic fought over a penny in the streets.

Classy

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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #11 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:51 AM
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Originally Posted by dr.gonzo! View Post
Wanna know how copper wire was made?


Two people of a certain demographic fought over a penny in the streets.

Classy
one time in middle school i watched two people of a certain demographic fight over a dollar

they each ended up with 50 cents

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post #12 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:54 AM
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post #13 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:56 AM
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how many people of a certain demographic can you fit in a car?


50. 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back, 45 in the ashtray

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post #14 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:57 AM
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what's long and hard on a man of a certain demographic?

first grade

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post #15 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 01:57 AM
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In middle school, one kid would always pick up pennies and other change he found on the floor. We decided to start super-glueing change to the floor and watch his reactions when he couldn't get it.

Is it still offensive if we post a picture that says it instead of actually typing it?

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post #16 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 02:05 AM
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---------- Post added at 12:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:01 AM ----------


Quote:
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #17 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 12:08 PM
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post #18 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 12:17 PM
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An old farmer is sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise when he sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying a spool of something metallic under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" says the old man.

The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy walks by, dragging behind him 30 chickens caught in the chicken wire.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walk by carrying a shiny roll of something. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Duct tape."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch me some ducks."

"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"

The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy walks by, trailing behind him 30 ducks caught in a long trail of duct tape.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying a branch behind him. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"It's a pussy willow."

"Wait up," says the old man. "I'll get my hat!"

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post #19 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 12:22 PM
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So an old man is sitting on his porch enjoying a beer, when his grandson walks up and asks if he can have a sip.

"well son, is your dick big enough to touch your asshole?"

"no"

"well then son your not old enough to have a beer yet"

a few days pass, and again gramps is sitting on his porch, enjoying a cigar, when his grandson comes up and asks if he can try it.

"well son, is your dick big enough to touch your asshole?"

"...no grandpa"

"well son you're not old enough to smoke then."

later that day the boy is sitting on the porch, enjoying some cookies his grandmother made for him when his grandpa walks up.

"hey there son can I have one of those cookies?"

"idk grandpa is your dick big enough to touch your asshole?"

"you're damn right it is!"

"then go fuck yourself grandpa, grandma made these cookies for me!"

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post #20 of 34 Old January 24th, 2015, 12:27 PM
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Why is there cotton on top of the pills in aspirin bottles?

To reming people of a certain demographic they were picking cotton before they started selling drugs.

---------- Post added at 08:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:24 AM ----------

Do you know 62% of all people of a certain demographic have cataracts?

The other 38% drive Lexus and Acura's

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moral of story drugs are a hell of a drug.
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Peni are evil, conniving assholes. They do this to us all the damn time. Don't trust it!
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