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post #17041 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Austin View Post
Luke Bryan
Have you tried being not gay?
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post #17042 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 02:16 PM
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Have you tried being not gay?
Hence the suicide thoughts.
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post #17043 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 02:21 PM
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This is genuinely funny.

---------- Post added at 10:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:13 AM ----------

I got fucking sick out of no where yesterday and I am pissed.

I went to the denty poo for a cleaning, all was well.

Around 4pm I started to get a head ache and my throat was a little sore.

Then at 5pm Rachel asked me why I was so grouchy, on account of me being sick. So I ate dinner, tried to have a whiskey to make me feel better then went to bed at like 8. I slept like shit the whole night and woke up with a Luke Bryan song stuck in my head.

Being sick and having a Luke Bryan song stuck in your head allows you to understand why people commit Sudoku.
i don't know who luke bryan is but i'm glad you didn't commit lifen't
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post #17044 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 06:40 PM
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The IRA is back? What year is it?

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-b...-idUSKCN1PN1LO

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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #17045 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 06:58 PM
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post #17046 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 07:36 PM
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It's the 80s? I'm gonna wear a tshirt under my suit jacket, make a car out of stainless steel and do a fuckton of blow.

EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!
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post #17047 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 09:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Austin View Post
I slept like shit the whole night and woke up with Luke Bryan in my head.
Iím sorry @Austin I really have to take full credit for that.

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NUMBER 1 Official member of the "My Car Sucks And No One Likes It But Me" CLUB
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post #17048 of 19064 Old January 30th, 2019, 09:57 PM
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godDAMN look at those pearly whites
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post #17049 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brtnstrns View Post
YoU gOt A pUrDY moUtH.
[banjo intensifies]
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post #17050 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 10:05 AM
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #17051 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 11:40 AM
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post #17052 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 11:49 AM
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post #17053 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:08 PM
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buy it
already placed my order through carvana
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post #17054 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:11 PM
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mfw the super bowl is in my city this weekend and there are prostitutes everywhere

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post #17055 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:13 PM
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You gonna be out uberin
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post #17056 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:16 PM
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You gonna be out uberin
20% ubering, 80% scrubbing my seats
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post #17057 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:23 PM
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Because the slug trails from leaky clams
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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post #17058 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:28 PM
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I read a story one time about a girl giving an uber driver a bj as a tip.

I usually only tip uber drivers like $3-$5.

That's a cheap blowie.
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post #17059 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:36 PM
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I read a story one time about a girl giving an uber driver a bj as a tip.

I usually only tip uber drivers like $3-$5.

That's a cheap blowie.
that's interesting because when people don't have the money for tips i usually get fucked
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post #17060 of 19064 Old January 31st, 2019, 12:39 PM
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Guy that I worked with in valet back in college used to get blowjobs from girls that were coming to/leaving the club.

I thought he was completely full of shit when he told me that until I actually witnessed him get into a vehicle with two chicks, drive to the parking spot, and was gone with them in the car for like 10-15 minutes.

Maybe they were just having polite conversation, but it convinced me that he was at least not entirely lying.

I was also fucking pissed because the fucker was forcing me to park all the goddamned cars while he was getting a beej. Fucker.

Oh yeah he also had a wife and kid, so that's cool.

But yeah I got zero valet parking blowjobs
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