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better than clockWise
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Guys, I had the most ****ed up dream last night. It involved lariat, his dad, his mom, his ex and his gf. In the dream his ex wa.... wait... ok hold on... this was real?

Seriously though, roll with the punches bro. Don't let **** get you down. Life is going to be awesome for you and its going to straight kick you in the nuts when your already on the ground asking for help. Tesll life to get ****ing bent, you got this. Just keep moving on, day after day. Make it to old age and tell life its your bitch,.. it's what im looking forward too if life lets me. If not, ima tell it early. either way, ima let it know I wasn’t defeated. I kicked life’s ass.
 

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Wow, holy world of wild ****ery sports! Damn man, hang in there. You are 19 and in 10 years you will look back and see what you learned thru this that made you make different decisions over the years. Focus on school. Meaning, surround yourself with an environment to succeed. This situation does not seem even remotely ideal for that. I could sugar coat it but it is what it is.
 

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Here's how you deal with the holidays....don't

Myself and some of my family had some ****ed up **** a few years ago. Didn't speak to my mother for a couple years. So for holidays and things, we just didn't deal with her. She did her thing and we did ours. Then one day I got a random tex from her asking if we could talk. I agreed, and we met a coffee shop. Slowly we started putting our relationship back together. This was almost 2 years ago. Are my mom and I like we once were? No, not yet anyway, but we're getting there.

You need to focus on the positives in your life which sounds like your mom, your brother and your girlfriend. Spend the holidays with them and **** everyone else. Toxic people need to be barred from your life, especially if you are having any kind of suicidal thoughts. I don't care if the thoughts are half hearted or not.

You also mentioned feeling a need to fix what was broken. I'm the same way. I'm a fixer. At 31 years old now, I'll tell you this. You won't be able to fix jack mother ****ing **** until you fix yourself. You can't make others happy until you're happy yourself. Fix yourself, be selfish, take care of yourself, do what makes you happy. Once the dreams, suicidal thoughts, and general misery is gone for yourself, then, and ONLY then can you try and fix others.
 

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That is probably the best advice I've gotten on this whole ordeal....
That stems from living a lot of life at almost 31 years old. Divorced, remarried, crazy exes, kids, drug abuse in the family, stress with work insecurity, etc etc.

My wife and I try to make time every night just for us. We are selfish. We put the kids to bed, turn the phones off, and just be us. It's a reset that happens everyday. Just some time to not have to think about everything else going on.

That's what works for me and for her. That isn't what will necessarily work for you. Point being you have to find what works for you. However, you've gotta find that thing before you can try and help other people.
 

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Lariat, if you need to talk hit me up on PM. I can even send you my cell number. I've been through some **** and sometimes just having someone to listen to is all you need. Don't hesitate.
 

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You need to focus on the positives in your life which sounds like your mom, your brother and your girlfriend. Spend the holidays with them and **** everyone else. Toxic people need to be barred from your life, especially if you are having any kind of suicidal thoughts. I don't care if the thoughts are half hearted or not.

You also mentioned feeling a need to fix what was broken. I'm the same way. I'm a fixer. At 31 years old now, I'll tell you this. You won't be able to fix jack mother ****ing **** until you fix yourself. You can't make others happy until you're happy yourself. Fix yourself, be selfish, take care of yourself, do what makes you happy. Once the dreams, suicidal thoughts, and general misery is gone for yourself, then, and ONLY then can you try and fix others.
This is all very good advice. Focus on you. Focus on what makes you happy and if you don't exercise, start. Lift weights, run, bike, anything. Exercise creates endorphins and gives you time to think. Engage in hobbies you enjoy and take the time to do them. Fix yourself and don't be afraid to get help.

It isn't selfish to focus on yourself. There is only one person that can ensure your happiness, and it is you. Don't feel guilty or let anyone make you feel guilty about it either. You are the the only one that is responsible for your happiness.

The only think I disagree with is even bothering to try to fix others. You can't control or fix anyone. What you can do is be supportive, provide others with a stable voice and be there to help them. They have to own themselves and only they are responsible for their own happiness, not you.

Hang in there. There will be days that you feel great and days you feel terrible. As you focus on your own self those bad days will diminish. You'll be able to handle them when they come along.
 

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The only think I disagree with is even bothering to try to fix others. You can't control or fix anyone. What you can do is be supportive, provide others with a stable voice and be there to help them. They have to own themselves and only they are responsible for their own happiness, not you.
We aren't on opposite fields here. What I'm saying is he can't be the pillar of support to others before he can be his own. It's not that I was saying he could wave a wand and fix them, I'm saying he can't help to fix others without fixing himself first. We're thinking along the same lines here.
 

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Like a few others have said, make yourself happy. One thing I tell anyone who comes to me for relationship advice is very simple. " the most important happiness is your own happiness" many people say that it sounds very selfish.
But what really matters here is your own happiness, spending time with those who cherish you is very important they will reciprocate the happiness you give them back into your life. Those toxic people will just take it and throw it away, they will never give back positive energy back to you. So there is no point in putting time into it. It's kinda like putting money into a vending machine and you keep selecting the empty slot. Just pick the snickers and enjoy yourself.
 

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Endangered Species
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Advice: Hold gf close, stick together with the remaining indians: gf, mum, bro. You all as a group may want to consider moving somewhere and getting a new start. Live together, consolidate bills, find peace with all that transpired, and then when able go your separate ways, you and gf move out, mum stay, bro moves out. Ya'll need to talk about everything and use each other as a support group. You all already know one another's story, and family loves dearly.
 

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FBGM
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The hardest part of getting over what happen will be trying to come to terms with the betrayal your father commuted, is to stay close with people. As someone who has been extremely depressed before that's the only way to do it. Your gonna want to be alone, DONT. Your gonna want to drink, DONT. Those two things will help you cope. I know when I was depressed and drank I became even more depressed. Being alone all the time allowed me to replay the events over and over in my head, making me more depressed. I wish I would have headed my own advice but I was younger and dumber.
 

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that ex part was a total plot twist

---------- Post added at 12:45 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:44 AM ----------

you are handling it much better than i would. My temper would have got the best of me
 
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