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Sofa King Slow
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784 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I've typed this probably 3 or 4 times. I'm extremely hesitant to post this here but I like to think you guys are friends. I'm married to my job. The only friend I really have is in the Navy lol.

So here's the deal. My Mom filed for bankruptcy a few months back, and she called me today crying. No.. Need to rewind even farther. Late 2010 my non-biological grandfather paid for my Mom and I to move to Texas, so he could then pay for my college. After I finished college he came over to our apartment and told me he couldn't pay it off. There was a little bit left but he needed me to take over the payments. I obliged without reservation, of course. My mom and I hated Texas and wanted to move back to Utah. I was only making $9/hr at the time and couldn't really contribute much to the move. She payed for it all by herself. Right before the move my car broke down. She maxed her credit card(s) out to fix it. ~$1,600, even though I told her not to.

Fixed my car
Paid for U-Haul
Paid for Trailer to tow POS Saturn
Paid for gas in both the trailer and her jeep to get from Texas to Utah
Paid for Hotel rooms
Paid for Food

When we got to Utah she was fine financially. Got credit cards paid off. Got an apartment larger than the one in Texas for $300 less. I had already decided I was going to move up to SLC. She was going to stay in St.George. She hated this idea and felt that spending some dough to fill the place up with furniture from a rent to own place was a good idea. I advised not to, and that it was a bad idea. 2 weeks in and she's already piled herself up to her neck in debt but she doesn't even realize it.

I need to stop rambling. Long story short she ****ed herself over. Filed for bankruptcy. Claims some obscure number on her W-4 just so she can make ends meet and owes the IRS (for last year) something to the tune of $2-4k. Owes $1.3k on a washer & dryer. $550 on an iPad she put on her contract. She's sold everything she has as it is to make payments. She doesn't have much at all, 3 cats :facepalm: I know what you're thinking though right? She did it to herself. This isn't exactly the first time she's done it to herself, just not to this extent. I'd hate to give her $1,300 to pay her **** off just to have her turn around and put herself back in debt.

She calls me today crying because she has to start claiming single and 0 on the W-4. For the month of September that leaves her $1.38 after her bills. That doesn't include a realistic figure for groceries.

She can't find a new job because anything she finds is going to pay less than what she makes now. Her bosses are assholes and take advantage of her. They know the situation she's in.

So I guess my question is what can I do to help her? I can't do very much. I feel like i've given her a false sense of hope today. Because let's be honest here, she's pretty much **** out of luck. She has nothing else to sell, and has already widdled her expenses down to what she can.
 

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I'm Ridin A Coyote!!!!!
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6,481 Posts
Well it can be worse, she can be dead like my mother. Tell her that, tell her to work her ass off seriously bro.

She has to help herself bro, period. You got a **** job? Paying less? Work longer and harder! Life can always be worse. I've personally helped my brother when he was in a bad spot, not much, but that $1500 I gave him got him straight and I let him know that I'm living check to check and I can't help him anymore. Now he's doing fine, he works like 3 jobs and is married. All is well, but yeah he works his ass off at shitty security jobs.

What I've learned is that people need to learn to help themselves. Struggle is a great experience, it makes you stronger as a person.

Good luck to you and yours.
 

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Sofa King Slow
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784 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Ah, thanks man. I just don't want her to do something irrational. She is sober for god know's how long and when she did drink she had suicidal tendencies. Thanks for not trolling the thread as well.
 

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I'm Ridin A Coyote!!!!!
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6,481 Posts
Ah, thanks man. I just don't want her to do something irrational. She is sober for god know's how long and when she did drink she had suicidal tendencies. Thanks for not trolling the thread as well.
No problem bro. I tell everyone the following...

You think your life is hard? Go to any ICU at ANY Hospital. Take a look around, end of story.

Let her know that only SHE can fix herself. Be firm also, don't fold and console her.

I'm a firm believer in "learning from the hard knocks in life".
 

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Chicken ****er
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2,633 Posts
Sounds like she needs to take a long look in the mirror and sit down and figure where she went wrong. We all go through **** but she needs to budget within her means and button down and take care of her business. She's your mom though. Take her out for a nice lunch or dinner and tell her to figure it out. No time like the present to pull yourself up by the boot straps.
 

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Sofa King Slow
Joined
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784 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Try to help her out with a proper budget. Everybody is feeling the financial pinch, sign of the times.
What blows me away is that anytime she gets any "breathing room" she fills it up with "fluff" shortly after. I.e. she got something paid off so then she goes out and buys an iPad. Makes no sense -.-
 

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LORD ZERO VENOM SUPREMACY
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917 Posts
Help her out in little doses, and tell her that she needs to stop buying useless things. Don't just give a boatload of money and expect the right thing. Help her out with groceries, or grocery money so she could save her money to pay off things. Or give her some money to go towards debt payment. But remind her that your help is help not free money. She's your mom and knowing that you're around to help might change her, you never know.

Sent from AutoGuide.com Free App
 

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It'll be bout tree fiddy
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3,429 Posts
She mainly needs to help herself. One HUGE thing that should could do is consolidate all that money into one payment. That has helped a couple of my buddies who have gotten in over their heads really sort it out instead of trying to keep up with so many different payments.

Best thing you could do is just offer her advice on how to budget.
 
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