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people ****ing lose their minds over the fact that i button the top button on my polo shirts

yOu LoOk LiKe A nErD

YoU lOoK lIkE a SeRiAl KiLlEr

maybe that's exactly what i'm going for, bitch. and say that one more time and i WILL be a serial killer

i dress way better than i should in my line of work, with my tucked in, fully buttoned polo shirt, well fitting jeans, spotless shoes, cockring, watch, and sunglasses. it keeps me out of trouble. it's function over form. i don't care if you think i look like a nerd. i care that the cop who pulls me over for accidentally going 120 in a 55 thinks i'm a nerd, not some half assed top-button-unbuttoned THUG.

how many coke dealers button their top button? none. i could deal coke on the side and nobody would have a ****ing clue

how many bank robbers button their top button? not a single god damn one from my research. might just go rob a bank

while everybody is out looking for those stereotypical top-button-unbuttoned criminals i can do whatever the **** i want and nobody will think twice about the professional looking nerd. it's like having an alter ego. i wear dirty shoes, jeans, and a white t shirt for yard work, but when i go out at night in my uniform i can literally toss babies in dumpsters and get away with it

a life of true adventure is lived through the top button
 

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King Trashmouth
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21,891 Posts
So I heard @BWAL is a serial killer

shame
Makes sense.

-Uber driver for dumping bodies
-Tons of cars to swap to throw police off the trail
-Delusions of grandeur (internet forum mod)
-Top button
-Double dream hands
-Bodies behind wood paneling

Can't wait to get interviewed for Dateline.


Might be picking up a Fairmont tomorrow. Four door, 200 I6, 3sp. Because I need more projects, here at Crazy Wicked's used car lot and wacky waving inflatable BWALs.
 

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Administrator
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it works tho, until you accidentally slip up and give away your cover

girl asked me tonight if i found my bike. i said no then asked her if she'd visit me in prison when i did

she was all "i'Ve NeVeR sEeN tHiS sIdE oF yOu"

now i'll be a prime suspect when a dick is found behind a wendy's

---------- Post added at 10:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:25 PM ----------

today my dog that i got when i was 13 (that my mom kept when i moved out) ****ing drowned in a lake

then i found out that my work girlfriend got fired

then my rubber band that i wear as a bracelet broke

i'm losing everything important in my life lately
 

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King Trashmouth
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21,891 Posts
girl asked me tonight if i found my bike. i said no then asked her if she'd visit me in prison when i did
What, going to commit insurance fraud if you find the bike? :shiftyeyes

she was all "i'Ve NeVeR sEeN tHiS sIdE oF yOu"
Translation: SPLOOSH.

now i'll be a prime suspect when a dick is found behind a wendy's
Nah they'd turn anything behind Wendy's into chili real fast. Roadkill. Dicks. Jimmy Hoffa. Doesn't matter.

then i found out that my work girlfriend got fired
Is this post-ice cream girl?

then my rubber band that i wear as a bracelet broke
RIP your LIVESTRONG bracelet, 2005-2019.

Everything bad that happend started with my curse of the gonzo post. World burn
Well apparently BWAL's work gf got fired so there's an opening. You just have to wear a wig and have a purdy mouth.
 

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Bo Baustin
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13,134 Posts
Sorry about your dog Bubba. That's rough as hell.

---------- Post added at 11:13 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:37 AM ----------

Packing for Seattle.

And before you ask, yes, I do have enough socks/underwear assuming I **** my pants and socks each day.
 

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Is this post-ice cream girl?
ice cream girl has definitely been active on facebook so i've moved on

---------- Post added at 01:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:15 PM ----------

also forgot to mention that i almost hit a kid when i was speeding through a neighborhood yesterday

really been beating myself up about that one. really thought my aim was better
 
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