Bearer of Bad News
Stay away from Caffeine.... it can add to anxiety.
Can someone be a pal and swing the ****ing ban hammer all over this guy?Be a man and suck it is up.
Also, you need some cliff notes.
I get anxiety stuff like that sometimes but it just results in me coughing (It is a tell tale sign to my wife that she knows I am nervous about something). I really hope everything works out for you and just know that your son needs you and loves youI stopped drinking coffee, alcohol, and smoking as soon as my anxieties came around.
Sort of a blessing in disguise I guess? It still sucks dealing with this though...
beat me to it lol. Thanks man.Can someone be a pal and swing the ****ing ban hammer all over this guy?
Obviously you have not been in a situation such as this one and have NO ****ING CLUE what it's like so shut your damn mouth.
The OP is going through one of the toughest times in his life and you just say "suck it up"?? If I had to raise my daughter alone I would probably be doing the same thing he is and having some of the same thoughts. At the end of the day though I would do anything it takes and I am sure the OP is doing that as well.
wow +repsX1000. that just put alot of thing in perspective for me.Busher. Obviously this is not an easy answer.
You know how when guys are young, us older assholes are always saying things like "Do NOT get involved in a relationship yet" or "Do NOT get married yet" or "Get your career going first"?
There's a reason for that. Life is difficult. Relationships are difficult. It's hard to convey to younger people just how hard it can really be. I guess the bottom line is, you can't really understand until everything is on your shoulders.
But I get it. I'll give you the briefest synopsis of my life that I can. Note that some of this may be fictional material added for emphasis and cannot be used against me in a court of law.
I've not told a lot of this to people on this forum, some of it no one knows....assuming all this is real.
At 14, I start working. Full time, 60+ hours a week.
I get addicted to the money, and my schooling suffers.
At 17 I start smoking dope. Lots and lots of dope.
At 18 it becomes apparent I cannot use the University scholarship my parents spent 20 years paying for. They sell it for 20% of it's value.
I officially do not get my HS diploma.
Still 18, I am at least working towards my mechanic's ticket. I am 2 years away from finishing my apprenticeship when I write my 1968 Beaumont off. In a fit of rage, I quit my job the next day.
I start driving tow trucks soon after.....dope intake goes up, and now I'm hanging around....people of questionable repute.
I'm making good money, but fist fighting in the street and having guns pulled on me is wearing on me. So is seeing dead people.
I meet my wife.
In less than a year, she is pregnant.
Realizing that tow trucks are not the place to be with a baby on board, I quit that, take up with an older Scottish friend and we begin at ground level with a paper recycling company that is just starting up....just prior to starting there, our daughter is born.
We work there for 6 weeks for free. We sleep sometimes in piles of paper....working 16, 18, 20 hours, building and learning machines...then sleeping for a few hours and going right back at it.
Finally start getting paid.
Company runs good for about a year, but the three owners are bickering...and misusing funds.
Company attempts to merge with another like company in.....somewhere in the US let's say.
Those people **** us, we enter bankruptcy.
I burn our factory, 50k square feet of paper in it, to the ground.
Soon after, my brother-in-law starts teaching me how to drive truck. Big trucks.
I run with him for two months, then buy his Western Star and carry on with the company he was leased on to.
I buy my first house.
They **** me over left, right, and center. I begin to get paychecks with single digit numbers on them...and I OWN MY OWN TRUCK. I should be making a minimum of 3k a week. Soon I start getting paychecks where I OWE the company money.
2 years after, my cars get repossessed. Our house goes into foreclosure.
Miraculously, through friends and family, I am able to keep my house.
For three Christmases in a row, I am unable to buy my wife and daughter so much as a card.
Eventually I lose the big truck, unable to make the 2k/month payments.
I buy a ridiculously overpriced tractor from the company, just to stay working. With my limited experience, I cannot just go drive anywhere.
I finally get a decent job as a company driver for a large American based carrier. I put three years in there, three decent years, and then land my current job.
Due to not finishing school, getting ****ed around by my first trucking company, and us not being great with money, we constantly struggle to pay bills.
Late 90's, my wife contracts a rare blood disorder and requires multiple plasma transfusions. Almost lose her. She has a minor stroke. This happens again in the early 00's, and again late last year.
I cash in half of my life's savings to keep from losing everything.
Along the way, our daughter finds a lump in her breast and requires surgery. Fortunately it's just a fibrous benign entity. Still, the day of her surgery, I collapse to the floor as they wheel her away.
And we go on.....our daughter is ready for college, but I can't help pay for it yet because we suck with money. I wonder how different my life could be, had I finished school, had I been better with money.....
and then I stop myself. I ****ing stop myself.
Yeah. I've made mistakes.
But I'm a man. A ****ing man. At the end of the day, I've always done what I have to. I drive 240 miles to get to work, so that my family didn't have to relocate. In the winter, it sometimes takes me 6,7, 8 hours to get home. Been doing this for 12 years. I work a minimum of 60 hours a week.....plus my drive, I put in 70+ hours a week. Not some weeks. Not most weeks. EVERY ****ING WEEK.
And I never complain about it. My house suffers at times, as I am too tired and have not enough time to take care of it properly, but we get buy. Along the way I managed to put new windows, new roof, and doors on it...new hot water heater, gas heating....I'm ****in broke, brother, but my family has a decent house. It ain't gonna win a better homes and gardens contest, but it's MY house and I pay for it.
So I don't focus on my mistakes. What keeps me going? I look in the mirror and I am PROUD that I will do WHATEVER it takes to provide for my family. Whatever it takes.
I would work at McDonald's in the morning, Burger King in the afternoon, and Wendy's at night if I had to. I'll shovel ****. I'll do....things I shouldn't do.
But I get by.
So, Busher, what can I tell you brother. There is no magic answer. You have been dealt some shitty cards. Some shittier than mine. This is life.
But guess what you have at the end of the day. A beautiful child.
So this is where you truly become a man. Take a breath, look in the mirror, come up with a plan, and do whatever you have to do to provide for that little girl.
And most importantly, take care of yourself, or else you can't take care of anything else.
Eat. Exercise. Sleep as much as possible. And NEVER second guess yourself. Even when you make mistakes.
Talk to family and friends. Don't be afraid to cry over ****. Read books. Go talk to a professional. Do whatever you have to do.
The overwhelming feeling is normal. You must find a way to deal, for your daughter's sake.
Best of luck man.
I use to have alot of small panic attacks per day. Prob 20 a day or so, it got so repetitive that I knew when they were coming, and it wasnt like they were for a reason I could understand.I stopped drinking coffee, alcohol, and smoking as soon as my anxieties came around.
Sort of a blessing in disguise I guess? It still sucks dealing with this though...
Glad to help mangwow +repsX1000. that just put alot of thing in perspective for me.
Well put.When I first opened this thread I was sure it was going to be another one of those "me and my girl are arguing what do I do?" threads, but it surprised me. Although I have never been in the situation that you are in man I can offer some advice. Do what makes you happy man, clear your mind of everything but what is important to you in life. Spend time with your son, take him and go do things with him, go out with your parents, just get out and do things that you enjoy to free your mind of the negative feelings. Everything will fall into place man, I promise you that. Sometimes the worst things that happen to us are just a blessing in disguise, and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I wish you were closer man and we would be going out. Keep your head up and don't let any more bullshit cloud your mind from the things that YOU have to do to succeed.
Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do bro.