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i got into a relationship for the first time in a few years. im 22 and shes 18. im pretty straight edge person. i dont do drugs and only drink maybe once a month. i havent been drunk in probably two years. the problem im having is with weed. i tried it once when i was 15ish. it just never stuck with me and isnt part of my lifestyle. she goes out and smokes with friends maybe every other week or once a month. not very often. she puts responsibilities first, such as her job and paying bills. i just dont know how to think of it. i like her and we get along great. i just need some advice on accepting it. ive never really been around it, being i grew up in a small town. i guess its just the fear of the unkown that scares me about it, and id like to dispel those fears. ive always kind of associated weed with a certain type of people that i didnt want to affiliate with, but maybe i need to change my viewpoint. im not saying i want to get into it myself because i dont, i just dont like being worried when she hangs out with her friends. so give me some advice on how to get over this.
 

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sounds like she's responsible with it and isn't hurting anybody. i think you're worrying for no reason. i'd say just let her do her thing, but let her know you don't want it around you or whatever. weed is stigmatized for no good reason. maybe ask yourself what it is about it that you dislike so much other than the people that usually smoke it, since that's obviously not always the case if you still like her. if she's a decent human being, takes care of her responsibilities, and still enjoys a harmless plant, what is it that you worry about? the legality? we were all brainwashed about it growing up, lol. takes an open mind to realize most of it was bullshit. if the legality of it is what concerns you, just tell her to keep it away from you, and let her know you won't bail her out if she gets in trouble
 

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Im like the op in terms of my viewpoint. I understand that its not really harmful but being around a high person isnt fun, like being around a drunk. Another problem, like op said, is the personality of the people using it. It turns people into someone else. Im not a fan. I am very straight edge too, I completely empathize with you op.

That being said, I wouldnt let that ruin your relationship. Shes 18, she'll grow up.
 

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@kyle2002stang! I promise you that the types of people you associate weed with aren't the only ones that do it. It wouldn't bother me if she smoked as long as she was able to take care of her responsibilities and live a productive life. Not saying it shouldn't bother you though, but people are ill-informed when it comes to weed. It's been made out to be this terrible, gateway drug, but in reality it's no worse than alcohol.

Other than trying it again, I think the best thing you can do to better understand and accept it is to compare it to the affects of alcohol since you're familiar with that. Just to put things into perspective.

Im like the op in terms of my viewpoint. I understand that its not really harmful but being around a high person isnt fun, like being around a drunk. Another problem, like op said, is the personality of the people using it. It turns people into someone else. Im not a fan. I am very straight edge too, I completely empathize with you op.

That being said, I wouldnt let that ruin your relationship. Shes 18, she'll grow up.
Being around drunk or high people isn't supposed to be fun, lol. It's not a spectators sport. It's not like you're watching a movie and expecting it to be entertaining. The people partaking are the ones that are supposed to enjoy it. Are you implying that only young people smoke pot? Or that the adults that still do it haven't grown up?

I'm not trying to say anyone is wrong for disliking weed, but you can't state your opinions as facts when you've either never done it, have only done it a few times, or only seen others do it. There are all types of variables to consider: potency, tolerance, interactions with prescription meds. Certain people just react differently to it. A couple of people I know don't smoke because it makes them paranoid. Others want to sit around and talk. I just want to lay down, eat everything, and watch tv. My personality doesn't changed.
 

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@kyle2002stang! I promise you that the types of people you associate weed with aren't the only ones that do it. It wouldn't bother me if she smoked as long as she was able to take care of her responsibilities and live a productive life. Not saying it shouldn't bother you though, but people are ill-informed when it comes to weed. It's been made out to be this terrible, gateway drug, but in reality it's no worse than alcohol.

Other than trying it again, I think the best thing you can do to better understand and accept it is to compare it to the affects of alcohol since you're familiar with that. Just to put things into perspective.

Im like the op in terms of my viewpoint. I understand that its not really harmful but being around a high person isnt fun, like being around a drunk. Another problem, like op said, is the personality of the people using it. It turns people into someone else. Im not a fan. I am very straight edge too, I completely empathize with you op.

That being said, I wouldnt let that ruin your relationship. Shes 18, she'll grow up.
Being around drunk or high people isn't supposed to be fun, lol. It's not a spectators sport. It's not like you're watching a movie and expecting it to be entertaining. The people partaking are the ones that are supposed to enjoy it. Are you implying that only young people smoke pot? Or that the adults that still do it haven't grown up?

I'm not trying to say anyone is wrong for disliking weed, but you can't state your opinions as facts when you've either never done it, have only done it a few times, or only seen others do it. There are all types of variables to consider: potency, tolerance, interactions with prescription meds. Certain people just react differently to it. A couple of people I know don't smoke because it makes them paranoid. Others want to sit around and talk. I just want to lay down, eat everything, and watch tv. My personality doesn't changed.
A lot of people I know or have met over the years have stopped smoking weed when they get out of college and are adults. In my opinion a drug is a drug. And yes alcohol is considered a drug in my book. I dont care for alcohol either. The place I live is very conservative and maybe that has an impact on my point of view and others I know. And what I mean by it changes people is that Ive seen people before they smoked and after they got into it they changed. Im not trying to stereotype everyone who smokes pot but that is what I have seen it change people into. And once they start, they cant stop. Bottom line, it is a drug and Im not about that.

To answer whether only kids smoke pot, not at all but you have to start somewhere and teens are in a position to use and abuse it. The notion that adults dont smoke pot is downright wrong.

I do not want to start a debate but I would like to voice my opinion on the matter.
 

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I know doctors and engineers that smoke pot. As an engineer myself, I may or may not dabble in it myself and I sure as **** smoked a lot of it in college. If a person is getting their **** taken care of and succeeding in most other aspects of life, who gives a **** if they like to spark up/vape/eat some edibles a bit?

The stigma is all nonsense that us "millennials" were brainwashed into believing (and obviously, more successfully, our predecessors). I think if you really knew the truth about what people do behind closed doors, it would blow most people's ****ing minds who all smokes pot and keeps it on the downlow. If you feel that it's childish to partake, that's just the propaganda working. :shiftyeyes

If it bothers you a lot, I don't really have any advice for you. For example, similarly, I could never be with a girl that smokes cigarettes. I think they're disgusting and horrible for you and it makes no sense to me why people would even be interested in trying it. But that may be a similar feeling for you as well in regards to pot.

Hey its my 28th birthday tonight! Maybe I'll may or may not do a celebratory vape :shiftyeyes (saying "may or may not" eliminates all chance of employment repercussions, right? RIGHT?)
 

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6 Cylinduh, Really Bruh?
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I know a lawyer, book writer that is published, a doctor, and various other successful people that smoke weed to wind down or kill stress. I'd rather be around a bunch of high people versus drunk.

Don't always assume people based on habits

Now if she was doing meth or crack we would be having a different discussion but weed? It's a plant babay
 

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you can tell imaginary enemy is high right now and he doesn't seem too bad


---------- Post added at 07:37 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:50 AM ----------

A lot of people I know or have met over the years have stopped smoking weed when they get out of college and are adults. In my opinion a drug is a drug. And yes alcohol is considered a drug in my book. I dont care for alcohol either. The place I live is very conservative and maybe that has an impact on my point of view and others I know. And what I mean by it changes people is that Ive seen people before they smoked and after they got into it they changed. Im not trying to stereotype everyone who smokes pot but that is what I have seen it change people into. And once they start, they cant stop. Bottom line, it is a drug and Im not about that.

To answer whether only kids smoke pot, not at all but you have to start somewhere and teens are in a position to use and abuse it. The notion that adults dont smoke pot is downright wrong.

I do not want to start a debate but I would like to voice my opinion on the matter.
I'm not sure if I misunderstand you're wording, but just to be clear I didn't mean that adults don't smoke pot. What I meant was do you feel it reflects maturity?

Weed isn't for everyone and it doesn't bother me if it's not for you.
 

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I grew up thinking pot was bad and all that other crap they instill in you going through school, with all the anti-drug stuff.

Through college and my adult life, I found out that everybody apparently smokes pot. A certain few like to do the "420 blaze it" bullshit to act cool, but a lot of people do it. I can't remember the percentages but I know they're now saying the majority of people try it by the age of 25 now.

I finally tried it for the first time probably 5-6 years ago, and smoked it a couple times. I didn't really get the appeal because for me, it just made me feel drunk (head spinning, etc). My wife used to do it more often because we had a couple neighbors that smoked allllllll the time.

So yeah, my views on it loosened a lot. Now I don't really see it as anything dangerous. I still don't think people should smoke weed and drive though.

So, if it REALLY bothers you, you may have to move on. Some people stop it eventually, some people never do. But it's really not as dangerous or life-consuming as some people make it out to be.
 

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I have a hard time explaining my thoughts sometimes lol. Being in the family I am, having the friends I do and growing up the way I did goes against all things illegal. To answer your question, honestly yes. Whether Im right or wrong thats how I feel and Im very anti drugs, all of them.

Im not a fan and I honestly wouldnt want my significant other doing drugs either, even if it is just pot and its done responsibly. It can jepordize your job and future. What if you get drug tested at work and get fired? Good luck finding work. What if you get pulled over with some on you? Yea most likely that person wouldnt really get in trouble but if they did, it wouldnt look good on their resume. If anyone did a background check for any reason it would show up.

Im being a little extreme but it could happen. Im the type of person that thinks people dont believe me. Ive always wanted to get into law enforcement, so if I were to take a polygraph and even though Im telling the truth, in the above situation, Id feel like they think Im lying and that would be reflected in my voice and body language even though I am telling the truth. Hell even my fiance will ask me if I did something and I can deny it for days, yet she wont believe me because Ill have a smirk on my face because she will too lol.
 

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I'll buck the trend here...

I'm not a fan of any drugs. Not because they're "illegal" but the reasoning for using them. If you need a chemical to "relax" or to "have fun" then what you're doing just isn't fun.

I wouldn't date smokers when I was dating because I don't like the taste of it. I don't particularly like the smell of pot, and when I was dating someone and found out they smoked it, I gave it a chance, but several other things she wasn't telling me surfaced shortly thereafter and I broke it off. Not the pot's fault, but I didn't want to kiss her when she stank of pot.

I was married to an alcoholic. Nothing against someone having a beer or some alcohol or anything, but again, in my opinion if you go out with the express intent to get drunk there's other issues in your life that need dealt with (unless you're just turning 21, you get a pass then in my opinion).

Relationship wise, it's up to you man. If you love every other aspect of her, and can overlook the pot, go for it. I think it's a bigger deal than that though, as you're asking us for advice. Her smoking pot doesn't make her bad, doesn't sound like she's a serious pot head or anything like that, just I find it gross and I personally wouldn't want to be part of it.
 

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She's 18. You're 22. Neither one of you has been able to really establish what is important to you. What both of you see as priorities now might be insignificant in 5-10 years. You might have matured early, and maybe she is on that path too (or not), but these are the years for you and her to make mistakes (big or small) and learn from them to constantly refine and define who you are. That process never really ends, maybe flattens out, but this early in life for you is when you start "living"

I have some awesome long time friends that you never would have thought smoked weed. While illegal, I don't cast anyone out, unless they make it a priority over real priorities. Don't sweat it. She will enjoy her teens. You make damn sure you enjoy your 20's. Dont try to grow up too fast.
 
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I guess im over here trying to figure out why someone would be with someone when they do something they do not find acceptable? At your age, if i found something a significant other did unacceptable, i went on to the next one. Thats just me though.

I dont really care if someone smokes pot, but i dont hang out with people who do it either. I dont find any reason it should be illegal, but as a LEO im not putting myself in the position to be fired for it either.
 
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