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Many of you have heard my many ex wife stories, but to sum up, when we divorced we had 50/50 custody, and within a week she lost that custody because she let a child molester move in with her, so I have full physical custody and joint legal custody so that her mother can take her to the doctor and such.

Lately we've been on an uneasy truce, where if I don't rock the boat she won't rock the boat and vice versa.

Well, my ex has no concept of what is an appropriate level of interaction between us is. In my opinion, we shouldn't interact at all except the very limited circumstances where our daughter is concerned, as in any injuries sustained at either home, behavioral issues, educational issues, stuff like that. No, my ex (who also has a drinking problem, which is the source of today's irritation I believe) calls whenever the ancient computer she owns has an issue (I'm an IT guy), she's called at 2am when her grandfather died (and while i am friendly to her extended family, a 2am call is not appropriate for an ex husband, I'll read it in the obits like everyone else thank you), so because of that last example, I have my phone in DND at night UNLESS my daughter is overnighting at her house for her bi-weekly visitation (so that I can get an emergency call).

So this morning my wife's cell phone goes off at 6am. Wakes us both up (I'm generally out of bed at 630 on weekdays), and my wife is PISSED because who the **** is calling her at 6am on a Friday? Lo and behold, it's my ex wife's landline phone (she lives with her parents). We decline the call, and it gets a voicemail which is dead air. Then it starts ringing again, so we decline it and turn the phone to DND. So now my wife is wide awake and pissed off. My daughter comes out of the shower and my wife asks her if she knows why her mom is calling us this early. My daughter doesn't have a clue, checks her phone and sees she's missed a dozen calls, starting around 3am! What 11 year old is up at 3am on a weeknight?
So I check my phone and yup, six missed calls starting around 330am.

WHAT THE ****?

So after I shower and get my daughter and I breakfast, her phone gets a text saying, "all's good, I'm ok now". So my daughter calls her mom who sounds VERY drunk who explains that she was calling everyone, her sisters, her friends, me, my wife, and our daughter because she couldn't get her cell phone to work and AT&T wouldn't help her.

Bitch please! What the **** am I going to do about your ****ing cell phone? More importantly, what is MY WIFE and our daughter supposed to do about this **** at six ****ing am? I am not your husband, I am not your friend. My wife isn't your friend, and our daughter can't do a god damn thing about your ****ing cell phone at 3am, 4am, 5am, etc. For that matter, I'm sure your sisters who are also gainfully employed, as well as your aunts/uncles/etc you may have called (but I doubt that) don't want to deal with your drunk ass in the wee hours of the morning.

I have a ****ing court order that she is not allowed to call before 9am, or after 9pm, and I'd love to take her to court over it, but all that would do is cost me $300 in court fees and she'd get told in a stern voice to not do that again while they shake their finger at her.

And now is the really hard choice. Do I send her a text saying, "Unless you are contacting me about Nadine, you are not to contact me at all. The only reason to contact me about Nadine between 9pm and 9am is if there is an emergency. Otherwise, do not call me or my wife at unreasonable hours" and open up the wrath of the crazy bitch, or do I sit here and stew on it some?

I am counting the minutes till 7/3/2023 when my daughter turns 18 and I can block phone calls from my ex from here on out.
 

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missippi roolz
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Saw my username dropped in a thread title and thought I was in trouble! Scared me!

That ****ing sucks man. Nothing worse than someone/something that you have literally give zero ****s about being able to throw a wrench into your life - especially something that pisses off your significant other.

This story does remind me of my own drunk escapades one drunken night though:

My family owns a riverhouse west of San Antonio, TX that I would go to with friends. It's a dry county but they've got at least one "club" that you can drink at if you become a member (it's free and it's a lifetime membership so, really, it's hardly a club at all). So my buddy and I walked the two miles or so to the club knowing we'd be shitfaced by the time we were leaving.

We ended up staying from like 7 PM till 2 AM drinking nothing but liquor. We were absolutely shitfaced and lost track of one another at the end of the night. We had interacted with tons of people there that night but I was so ****ed up that I started believing I was like living out some horror-movie situation. I believed that the people in this small town were all working together and kidnapped and raped my buddy (he's a little guy). I was walking through the club as they were shutting it down mean-mugging everyone because I was suspicious they were all in on it.

Eventually, after having no success finding him, I leave and start running down the pitch-black country road back to my river house where my other friends were that stayed behind. Somehow, I got it in my head that the townspeople were actually DEMONS and I thought they were chasing me down the road. I started calling my sisters at like 2 or 3 AM because I knew they had visited that club before and I figured they could give me some answers on who to trust and who were demons. Of course, none of them picked up the phone because its the middle of the ****ing night.

I eventually get back to my river house where of course my drunk-ass friend had already made it back. We just got so black-out-teeteringly drunk that we lost each other.

Weirdest drunk experience of my life.

Anyway - yeah, that ****ing sucks. AND NOW I'M PISSED. Not really...
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Saw my username dropped in a thread title and thought I was in trouble! Scared me!

That ****ing sucks man. Nothing worse than someone/something that you have literally give zero ****s about being able to throw a wrench into your life - especially something that pisses off your significant other.

This story does remind me of my own drunk escapades one drunken night though:

My family owns a riverhouse west of San Antonio, TX that I would go to with friends. It's a dry county but they've got at least one "club" that you can drink at if you become a member (it's free and it's a lifetime membership so, really, it's hardly a club at all). So my buddy and I walked the two miles or so to the club knowing we'd be shitfaced by the time we were leaving.

We ended up staying from like 7 PM till 2 AM drinking nothing but liquor. We were absolutely shitfaced and lost track of one another at the end of the night. We had interacted with tons of people there that night but I was so ****ed up that I started believing I was like living out some horror-movie situation. I believed that the people in this small town were all working together and kidnapped and raped my buddy (he's a little guy). I was walking through the club as they were shutting it down mean-mugging everyone because I was suspicious they were all in on it.

Eventually, after having no success finding him, I leave and start running down the pitch-black country road back to my river house where my other friends were that stayed behind. Somehow, I got it in my head that the townspeople were actually DEMONS and I thought they were chasing me down the road. I started calling my sisters at like 2 or 3 AM because I knew they had visited that club before and I figured they could give me some answers on who to trust and who were demons. Of course, none of them picked up the phone because its the middle of the ****ing night.

I eventually get back to my river house where of course my drunk-ass friend had already made it back. We just got so black-out-teeteringly drunk that we lost each other.

Weirdest drunk experience of my life.

Anyway - yeah, that ****ing sucks. AND NOW I'M PISSED. Not really...
Hey, I warned ya man!

I've never been drunk like that, but I am a Type 1 diabetic, so once when I was in elementary school, 2nd or 3rd grade my sugars dropped low during gym and I was hallucinating that everyone was in Russian military uniform, speaking russian, and I was freaking out (it was the 80's).
My gym coach carried me kicking and screaming to the nurse who got me some sugar and back under control.

It was the freakiest thing that's ever happened to me, and probably the reason I don't drink at all.
 

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missippi roolz
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Hey, I warned ya man!

I've never been drunk like that, but I am a Type 1 diabetic, so once when I was in elementary school, 2nd or 3rd grade my sugars dropped low during gym and I was hallucinating that everyone was in Russian military uniform, speaking russian, and I was freaking out (it was the 80's).
My gym coach carried me kicking and screaming to the nurse who got me some sugar and back under control.

It was the freakiest thing that's ever happened to me, and probably the reason I don't drink at all.
Damn, yeah hallucinations aren't good for the development of a child. LOL

That kind of drinking only happens on rare occasions where all my friends get together for special events. That was the only time I've ever been that weird though and it was like 5+ years ago - very strange.

Also, 7 hours of Crown & Coke probably isn't good for a diabetic haha.
 

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Damn, yeah hallucinations aren't good for the development of a child. LOL

That kind of drinking only happens on rare occasions where all my friends get together for special events. That was the only time I've ever been that weird though and it was like 5+ years ago - very strange.

Also, 7 hours of Crown & Coke probably isn't good for a diabetic haha.
So my ex sent me a text to let me know that our daughter's cello lesson is cancelled for tonight. I asked casually, "What was up with all those calls this morning?"

Two hours later she replied "I'm having trouble with my phone and I thought you'd be awake so you could help me."

I replied, "Don't you think calling me 6 times, then my wife, then our daughter, never once leaving a message is highly inappropriate? I am not your go-to guy for technical issues. We've been divorced 7 years now, the only reason you should contact me at all is when it pertains to our daughter."

Now, I was asking my daughter about it tonight at dinner, and she told me that her mom is "A little wierded out about the anniversarry of Connor's death", which was over the weekend. Connor being our son, who died 8 years ago during our divorce.

I asked her (our daughter) if she felt that was a good reason to call us at 6 am? No. How about is working on your mom's phone a good reason to call at 6am? "No, you don't fix mom's stuff." So my daughter has more of a clue than she does.
 
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Woodman, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Perhaps your ex wife is having an emotional breakdown of some sort, has undiagnosed bipolar (unaware of right and wrong sometimes), or something else. I support drawing that fine line of "no contact except for XYZ". All you can do is keep the best interest of your daughter in mind with all of this. I'm sure you are counting the years when no contact is needed. Good luck man
 

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Woodman, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Perhaps your ex wife is having an emotional breakdown of some sort, has undiagnosed bipolar (unaware of right and wrong sometimes), or something else. I support drawing that fine line of "no contact except for XYZ". All you can do is keep the best interest of your daughter in mind with all of this. I'm sure you are counting the years when no contact is needed. Good luck man
Thanks HD. I do understand the sadness/guilt/mourning over his death, as I feel it too. No matter what her personal issues are (of which I feel there are many, but that's another discussion) I feel that since we've been divorced, she needs to stop harassing me, needs to find helpful support mechanisms, and needs to stop carrying her combined hatred/torch for me. She's teaching our daughter very bad things about interpersonal relationships, how to move on after a break up, etc. Because I have physical custody, our daughter "latches on" to her mom a lot more than I like. But other than attempting to lead by example with my very healthy relationship with my wife, and teaching her how to handle moving on from a bad relationship like the one I had with her mother, all the while going out of my way not to say bad things/poison the relationship with her mother, there's not much more I can do. I realized 8 years ago I couldn't "fix" her mom. I couldn't make her mom care about her own children, I couldn't make her mom care about our relationship, I couldn't get her mother to stop ****ing other men, so i had to get out, get my kids to safety, and never look back.

Sadly, the courts and the system didn't allow me the ability to save both of our kids.
 

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That sounds more and more like bipolar. All of that.
 

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That sounds more and more like bipolar. All of that.

Entirely possible. But, she has to admit to herself that something is wrong, that she needs help, or she'll never follow through with it.

But, she won't listen to me, and it's no longer my problem to solve.
 

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Woodman, I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Perhaps your ex wife is having an emotional breakdown of some sort, has undiagnosed bipolar (unaware of right and wrong sometimes), or something else. I support drawing that fine line of "no contact except for XYZ". All you can do is keep the best interest of your daughter in mind with all of this. I'm sure you are counting the years when no contact is needed. Good luck man
HD god damn, you're on to something. My ex gf must have had one if not all of those listed issues.
 
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