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Discussion Starter #1
So I ate something that isn't agreeing with me tonight, and I'm headed to the bathroom for the 5th time in 3 hours.

The way my stomach feels it is as though I was face ****ed by the alien vagina from Alien, but instead of producing a viable xenomorph I had a miscarriage and the burning liquid **** coming out of me should have been one, but the rot in my body prevented it from happening.

It's gonna be a long night.
 

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Those are the worst nights! It also really sucks when you are trying to do something or are at an important event and that crap hits you! Good luck!
 
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Get better man. Buddy of mine just got a stomach bug and is dealing with the same thing. Hope it passes quick for you.
 
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Discussion Starter #4
Well, I made it to work this morning. I feel very bad for the sewage department though.
 

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Goddammit, now I owe my wife $5!

"What do you mean you told your friends that you were space raped and shitting aliens? Oh, the Mustang forum? I bet you someone wants pics."

$5?

"Done"

Asshole!

---------- Post added at 02:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:49 PM ----------

God no.

Went to my buddies restaurant, had pulled pork over homemade potato chips as an appetizer, then a double breakfast burger (Fried egg, two patties, bacon, cheese) that ended up being on the greasy side, and a ****ing mountain of french fries.

My stomach just said, "Look man, you're not 20 anymore, we're express training this ****".
 

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Dirt Dives Me Crazy
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I **** like that when I eat fatty food but it's because I had my gall bladder removed. When I eat Chinese food, I will have a fecal explosion in 30 min or less. Guaranteed. I gauge where we go after the Chinese restaurant based on the the cleanliness of their bathrooms. Walmart is OK because of the family bathroom, but Ollie's is a negative. Last time I **** in there there were numerous large wasps flying from the ceiling vent.
 
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Why not have a Fox?
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Dude, I can relate. I ate something yesterday that didn't agree with me and I've been running to the bathroom about every hour. Not as bad as your issue but my gut isn't happy.


I'll send pics if you want Austin.

---------- Post added at 06:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:25 PM ----------

I might add that I first noticed something was afoot when I trusted a fart that I full well knew I shouldn't as it felt different and required more force. I have to make a 3 hr drive tonight so I'm gonna grab a roll of wipe for the road. It's going to be interesting.
 

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Dirt Dives Me Crazy
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Dude, I can relate. I ate something yesterday that didn't agree with me and I've been running to the bathroom about every hour. Not as bad as your issue but my gut isn't happy.


I'll send pics if you want Austin.

---------- Post added at 06:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:25 PM ----------

I might add that I first noticed something was afoot when I trusted a fart that I full well knew I shouldn't as it felt different and required more force. I have to make a 3 hr drive tonight so I'm gonna grab a roll of wipe for the road. It's going to be interesting.
Buy baby wipes. Swampass sucks.

---------- Post added at 08:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:26 PM ----------

Also this Joe Rogan hunting video is relevant to this conversation. https://youtu.be/hZwJmov55kE
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Dude, I can relate. I ate something yesterday that didn't agree with me and I've been running to the bathroom about every hour. Not as bad as your issue but my gut isn't happy.


I'll send pics if you want Austin.

---------- Post added at 06:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:25 PM ----------

I might add that I first noticed something was afoot when I trusted a fart that I full well knew I shouldn't as it felt different and required more force. I have to make a 3 hr drive tonight so I'm gonna grab a roll of wipe for the road. It's going to be interesting.
Never, EVER force a fart.
 
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^ I'd also like to see a giant turd......#becausetrophy .


















I sometimes leave said trophy in the bowl for wife to admire. That moment when you know she just saw it is priceless. The "Dude! Flush it next time!" or "Gross!" or "What is wrong with you?" Never gets old :shiftyeyes
 

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Buy baby wipes. Swampass sucks.

BABY WIPES or nothing.

I **** maybe 5 to 6 times a day. Usually immediately after i eat. wife hates it, especially on dinner dates lol
 
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Discussion Starter #16
^ I'd also like to see a giant turd......#becausetrophy .
















I sometimes leave said trophy in the bowl for wife to admire. That moment when you know she just saw it is priceless. The "Dude! Flush it next time!" or "Gross!" or "What is wrong with you?" Never gets old :shiftyeyes
There is a special pride when you **** out one enormous turd that the toilet just can't get to go down the hole. You have to flush that sumbich four or five times before it finally goes down.

Sadly, the experience I had on Tuesday had nothing you'd want to look at. HD, with a baby on the way you'll have plenty of experience with what I was shitting out when you have to clean it up off the baby, the nearest wall when they projectile **** it over there, out of your hair, etc.

Good luck with that!
 
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WOT Junkie
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I caught a stomach virus about a year ago, I'll never forget that. I was damn near doubled over in pain on the bathroom floor for two days straight, it was coming out of both ends. I've never felt like that ever, my entire body was in severe pain. That **** made me cry man tears.

The day before that, my girlfriend woke up sick. I was kind of worried at first, thinking I may have knocked her up. Fortunately, that wasn't the case.
 

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Rent Asunder!
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My 5 year old brought the stomach bug home from school and now myself, my wife, mother-in-law, and grandfather-in-law are all vomiting and shitting our guts out. The last 3 days have been awful.
 
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