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Insomniac
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5,912 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So a little bit of a back story.......my entire life periodically my freeloading uncle has come and gone leaching off my mother. Well in the last year or so its begun again here in MD. About every 3 months he'd move in then he'd move out back and forth. Hes never held a job and asked for the world from my mom, of course because she feels bad for him and gives him everything. He currently labled disabled and hiv positive so he collects social security. Everytime his check comes he runs out to the bar and blows his check. Well today he goes out about 9 pm. I'm coming home about 1am and I get a call from my gf that he's blitzed and screaming and crying. Well as I'm walking into my building and getting into elevator my gf is calling me again, I know immediately it because things are getting bad. Before I even get off the elevator I can hear the yelling. As I open the door the scenes begins with my uncle and mother nose to nose screaming at each other. He begins putting his hand in my mothers face and I lose it. I grab him by the front of his shirt and jack him up against the wall telling him hell never ****ing get in my mothers face again or ill kill him. He starts going off on this rant of how he does everything for us and we don't do **** for him (my mother has been paying his bills and expenses since he moved in as well as puting a roof over his head so this is the alcohol or whatever he's on talking) so my mom goes to her room and shuts her door and I'm trying to talk him down. Seeing as he can't be reasoned I walk away to let him vent. He then goes storming to my mothers room to go at her again and I intercepted him, kicking and screaming I drag him back to the living room. At this point he's getting in my face trying to egg me on. I tell my gf to call the police and just let him go off on me while I keep pushing him back. He then picks up the coffee table and shatters it and flips the dining room table. My mom comes storming out screaming and he go right at her and cocks his hand back to hit her, I leveled him. I had a Dominic Toretto moment I just couldn't stop hitting him. Through the blind rage I hear my mom telling me to stop so I freeze. He kicks at me and I deflect it. So he's screaming and crying and says he's leaving so he starts grabbing bags and things in a drunken attempt to prove a point I guess. My mother and him start screaming again and goes out the front door to leave. I'm trying to talk him down as he gets to the elevator and he turns around and fairy kicks at me and I deflect it again and he goes off balance head first into the wall. He kinda just laid there for a second then started moaning and crying. He gets up after a couple minutes and takes off down the stairs. He runs into police coming into the building and they start talking to him, he starts going off on them and they arrested him. I had them call an ambulance to come look at his head as he did hit it really hard. The police came and took a report and now here we are. I'm not sure what I'm asking for just kinda needed to tell my story. I know how I intervened is right but I still feel horrible. My uncle and I were just starting to establish a decent relationship and this happens. Just a little bummed atm
 

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Pawsitively sexy
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10,564 Posts
Maybe it's my lack of a relationship with any family members beyond my brothers, but **** that guy. Uncle or not, there would be no place for someone like that in my family. Not even because of the cancerous mentality he caries, but his willingness to hit a woman, his own sister.
 

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Insomniac
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5,912 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Your mom should not be tolerating that behavior, Chris. She's enabling his behavior.
Oh no doubt. I think this will be the final straw though. Its never escalated to this point so I think it will be a real eye opener for her. We always joked about how I'd kick his ass if he ever swung on my mom, well it came to fruition.

---------- Post added at 03:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:16 AM ----------

Maybe it's my lack of a relationship with any family members beyond my brothers, but **** that guy. Uncle or not, there would be no place for someone like that in my family. Not even because of the cancerous mentality he caries, but his willingness to hit a woman, his own sister.
Yea I've kept my distance from him the whole time he's been here, but recently he's been helping me out while my car was broke giving me rides or letting my borrow his car without question. He was a pretty influential person in my childhood and we were kinda starting to get back to that point and it all came crashing down tonight.
 

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Hot rod Stang
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550 Posts
You did what you had too, I've got an uncle like that. My Mom just died, the uncle lives in an RV at one of my cousins houses. He use to live with my Mom off an on.
 

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Don't BAAAAH 'Til Goatsday
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6,530 Posts
Chris he couldn't take your sexy.

You know what's funny is family never sees the hurt and strain they put other family members. Take it from me man.

I may or may not have cleaned my half ass uncle 2 years ago.
 

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Insomniac
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5,912 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Chris he couldn't take your sexy.

You know what's funny is family never sees the hurt and strain they put other family members. Take it from me man.

I may or may not have cleaned my half ass uncle 2 years ago.
You'd think after he'd burned every bridge he's ever had his entire life something might click and he'd turn his **** around. Hopefully this stint in the police station will be a wake up call that he's no longer welcome here and its time to grow up. But more than likely that won't happen. I just got off the phone with the police station, hes still in lock up and still has to see the commissioner before its determined if hell be released or have a bond set, may happen today, maybe tomorrow. Sucks for him
 

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Administrator
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83,767 Posts
Oh no doubt. I think this will be the final straw though. Its never escalated to this point so I think it will be a real eye opener for her. We always joked about how I'd kick his ass if he ever swung on my mom, well it came to fruition.
Hopefully. You did good protecting your mom. If she lets him back in when the dust settles... understand that this will only get worse and worse.

My mother spent many years trying to help and counsel her alcoholic brother. Decades. They all grew up under an abusive alcoholic father and a mentally unstable mother... so my mother always wanted to 'do the right thing' as it were, and help him. She got pretty far with him, in fact they had started a business together, a tax refund business.

Today, my mother owns her own franchise of an HR Block type business, and my uncle is locked up in his house wallowing in anger and misery, drunk, and won't talk to his own son. Won't even answer the door so my cousin can see if his father is ok... won't answer the phone... sitting there with congestive heart failure waiting to die, pissed off at the world. 68 years old. This was a smart man, a steamfitter at one time who led his union and crew of men.

I could write you paragraphs of horrible nasty **** he's done and said to my mother and his own children.

You cannot pound a square peg into a round hole.

Even if it's family.
 

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Insomniac
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5,912 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
My mother spent many years trying to help and counsel her alcoholic brother. Decades. They all grew up under an abusive alcoholic father and a mentally unstable mother... so my mother always wanted to 'do the right thing' as it were, and help him.
You just desribed my family to a T. Glad to see my family isn't the only crazy one. I do think this has broken whatever sympathy she may have ever had for him.
 

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Insomniac
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5,912 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Just got off the phone with momma dukes, well be packing his stuff up and sending him on his way. Just how it has to be. People argue, but when you escalate to breaking things and putting your hands on people.........well you gotta deal with the consequences. Also just check his Maryland case search, he was released today, charged with second degree assault and malicious destruction of property (est value 500-1000)
 

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Cletus Emmett Wheelwelker
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2,575 Posts
I'm sorry to say, but your uncle will always be the same. A stint in the drunk tank won't change a mentality or way of living that has existed for years. I have personal experience with a family member whom is much the same; their very existence relies on mooching off my parents. They have been arrested two times, almost beaten to death, hold no job, and frugally spends every dollar on alcohol and cigarettes. This behavior has persisted for the last ten years, and looks to continue indefinitely. Once a person only knows a single way of life, they will continue to live as such. No amount of ass kicking, disbanding, or arrests will change that. Once they're in a rut, they will stay there.
 

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It'll be bout tree fiddy
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3,429 Posts
You did what you needed to do.

My uncle is the same way. But, it's my grandmother that he does all that **** to. Dude is a saint when he is sober, but he can never stay sober.
 

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Insomniac
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5,912 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
Bit of an update, sat afternoon my aunt picked him up from lock-up. Brought him by the house and help him pack up his stuff. Hell be staying with them for the time being till he can find someplace else but he's burned that bridge with us so he won't be coming back here. I plan to contact the states attorney handling his case and recommend court ordered alcohol treatment as part of his sentencing.
 
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