A 75mm TB is not too big. That is the old volume vs. velocity argument which doesn't really apply to our cars unless you change the plenum and intake manifold. The biggest restriction to air flow on our cars is the plenum. CliffyK, an engineer who occasionally post here, calculated the maximum air flow that our motors (stock) can use. Its around 475 cfm. On his website (link below) he has posted Accufab test data. Except for the C&L plenum there is very little difference in air flow between a 70mm and 75mm TB on each of the plenums (including stock). In several cases the 70mm TB flowed a couple of cfm more than the 75mm TB. This is probably a result of turbulence inside the plenum. Here is the link:
PaladinMicro If there is a difference in your cars its not caused by the TB.
Gears are an entirely different matter. They make a big difference. If you are comparing speed to rpm it is always best to do in in fourth gear. All of our transmissions do not have the same 5th gear ratio. Since you both have 2002s then 5th might be OK (assuming no one changed the transmission). To compare gear ratios this way you must absolutely make sure both speedometers are correct. The PaladinMicro site also has a rpm/speed calculator you can use.
A better way which eliminates speedometer error is to jack the rear end of the car off the ground, put a mark on the drive shaft and tire, and count the revolutions of the drive shaft for one revolution of the tire. Three and a quarter drive shaft turns is stock 3.27 gears. Three and three quarters is 3.73s. A little over 4 turns is 4.10s. You do not have to take the rear end apart to know what your gear ratio is.